This Is What High School Clique You Were In Based On Your Favorite Coffee Shop

Starbucks: The Basics

You got super hyped about the latest Frappuccino drop and then super hyper from drinking one. You made sure to show off your square French-mani acrylics while you took a pic holding your drink extended in front of you, Uggs peaking out at the bottom of your scenic background. Your Facebook quote was something like “A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.” Your body spray was from Victoria’s Secret. You asked to borrow my American Apparel purple zip-up hoodie during cheer practice and “lost” it but I saw you wearing it in one of your Facebook mall albums.

Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf: Forever 21 Indie Girls

You would call your style “boho” and you claim to be vegan even though I saw you eating BBQ chicken pizza from the cafeteria when you told everyone you were super-hormonal from your period. “I love MGMT!” You wear headbands around your forehead and a lot of loose-woven long cardigans and knits. “I wish I could buy everything at Urban.” You think you’re cooler than “The Basics” because you’ve smoked weed once. You order extra whipped cream on your blended drink just like they do.

Pete’s Coffee: The Real Nerds

You get coffee with your mom when she gets coffee her on her way to take you to Sylvan Learning Center. You don’t actually get coffee because you don’t like the way it tastes. How’s that dry-ass scone? Don’t forget to clean out your retainer!

La Colombe: Theatre Nerds

You have a crush on the lead of every school musical. He’ll turn out to be gay and you’ll claim you knew it all along but you probably didn’t. You started drinking your coffee black because it seemed artsy and then you realized that tasted nasty and started getting into La Colombe’s draft lattes. You claim to never sleep. You wrote the words to some song from Rent or Sweeney Todd or whatever the hell musical was popular in 2009 all over your binder. You’re late to rehearsal. You can’t hang out because you have rehearsal.

Blue Bottle Coffee: Yearbook

You’re on the Yearbook team AND you’re ASB President AND you’re on debate or like some other club that will look great on college apps. You really only hang out with other people in Yearbook who are exactly like you. You’re uncomfortably close to one or two teachers and you don’t think it’s weird at all! You have a camera on you at all times and you genuinely have school spirit. You are the most well-caffeinated person I know. It’s terrifying.

Intelligentsia: The Hipsters/Loners/Floaters

You don’t know their friends. They “go to another school.” Somehow this group never bands together, they prefer to be alone doing their own thing, but occasionally they will overlap. They got Instagram before you did. They applied to art schools you’ve never heard of on the other side of the country. Their coffee choice is usually something respectable and not too high maintenance. They’re not cool, but they’re not NOT cool? They’ll find their people in college.

Dunkin’: The Jocks

You get a massive coffee to wake you up for practice along with some sort of egg sandwich and a doughnut. It’s like 4 a.m. or something. After practice you get a massive iced coffee and you’ll drink it and then dump out the ice and fill your cup with water from a water fountain and drink it all day. If you’re a guy you’re trying to be “swole” if you’re a girl you don’t say shit like that you’re just trying to get in to ASU on a volleyball scholarship.

McDonald’s: Burnouts & Stoners

I 100% have a crush on you. You cut class, I don’t think you’ve ever done homework, and you smoke weed in your car during lunch. You’re in a band and I’m friends with your sister and when I come over you’re always wearing a white tank undershirt and your boxers. Other people think you’re either super cool or a total waste of time. You don’t care what your coffee tastes like. You don’t care about anything. I am swooning rn

Pret A Manger: Foreign Exchange Students

No one knows why you came to our school and you had some caché being from over seas but now the glamour has worn off and we don’t get you at all!!! You’re mean to everyone. You say everything is better in Belgium where you’re from, especially the coffee. You hate it here but you make friends with all the jocks who think you’re hilarious. Somehow you are homecoming king.

An Ode To Leftovers

You make dinner. You stress about it and season it and salt it. You toil and trouble and because you drank too much wine you burned the onions and had to start over. When you sat down to eat you were hungry and exhausted.

It is not this way with leftovers.

Leftovers are your gift to you.

I’m not talking about the Thai food from five days ago (throw that out btw), I’m talking about all that’s left of the pasta/chili/rice/chicken thing you made last night that’s now sitting in the tupperware on the top shelf of your fridge.

You shouldn’t be letting it spoil. You should really be enjoying day two of your dinner–preferably for lunch–and here’s why:

Your sauce has really had time to come together. Whereas it may have been a little soup-y initially, while your sauce has been sitting on that shelf it’s figured out how to cling better to the pasta/meat/rice/vegetables. The flavors have developed and become richer. It’s probably something scientific, but I would like to think of it as magic.

Leftovers were meant to be microwaved. I know people extoll the virtues of reheating pizza in an oven or on a skillet and tossing cold pasta into a pan, but leftovers are a meal of luxurious convenience and not dirty dishes.  You did those yesterday. You’ll do them again tonight. Plus, I fucking love when the cheese melts and gets a little hard on the plate.

Leftovers inspire creativity. Add more vegetables to give it an extra shot of color and freshness. Drown it in cheese. Add hot sauce if you’re feeling spicy. You already know what the initial dish tastes like. Leftovers are your chance to spruce things up or change them however you’d like. It’s your dinner’s second chance. It’s a mouth adventure.

Eat them standing in the fridge, waiting at the counter, out of your lunch bag at work, in a bowl at home. It’s yours. You made it, you didn’t have to open Postmates to order it, and sometimes they taste even better cold. Leftovers aren’t lazy, they’re easy. They’re past-you looking out for present-you. They’re home-cooked happiness. Thanks, you.

All that crying over the onions was worth it after all.

 

Should Your Favorite Brands Really Be Texting You?

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Lily: Why is Stuad doing this now? That’s so weird???

Kate: LOL that’s a very interesting take on sending a promo code. It’s aggressive.

Lily: It’s so aggressive and I’m scared it’s a hack but also I 100% signed up. Other brands have been doing this too? like been asking if they can send me texts. It’s very futuristic and terrifying.

Kate: I feel like it’s because email is so saturated. But a text is a little jarring and disruptive.

Lily: Also, I think it may be because so many people shop from their phones. Like, once I said yes they sent me a click-through.

Kate: Oooo V true!! I get random texts from Express but no one else really, and normally it’a a short text with no pictures lol.

Lily: For me it’s been a lot of natural beauty and skincare brands. I think they hate the approach of a “I’m cute friend who texts you to tell you about sales,” but a lot of the time I’ve never signed up for these I just put my phone number in for packages so they can get past my gate or call me if there’s an issue. It feels like an abuse of power.

Kate: Oooh I get them from Ulta too for sales! As it is, I get so many texts a day that a brand trying to communicate with me over text is just going to be ignored. Instagram ads are the way to get to me.

Lily: Tooooootally. Instagram ads are the absolute best. Especially if they are shop-able and I can click on the little circle for the price and just go.

Kate: The prince thing is the best thing to ever happen to social media.

Lily: I don’t get why brands don’t get that? Like 90% of the time I want to buy something, it’s because I was scrolling on IG and saw it and want to put it on my body or my face. Unless these brands start using the algorithm to text me pictures of products I want…don’t text me!

This Is What Party Food You Would Be According to The Zodiac

Inspired by my recent attendance at a party with fabulous snacks!

Yes, there are a lot of dips!

Also…qualifying everything as apps!

Aries: Buffalo Chicken Dip

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WW friendly buffalo chicken dip served with corn thins for this football Sunday night. Wow! I never get much interest on my posts so I don’t usually post the recipes. But keep reading for the recipe 😀 . . . . 🔸2 of the bigger cans of chunk chicken breast (or use @_laurengrace_eats crockpot shredded chicken if you have it on hand) 🔸1/2 cup @franksredhot 🔸1/2 cup fat free ranch 🔸1/2 cup reduced fat Mexican blend cheese 🔸 1 block fat free cream cheese 🔹set your oven to 350°. Bake for 20 mins. Take it out and sprinkle with a little more cheese. Bake for 5 more mins. I put mine in a 9×9 baking dish. I love buffalo chicken dip and could eat the entire pan. I get 6 servings out of it at 3FSP each! Or 18FSP for the whole dish and cut it into as many servings as you see fit. Serve with @nabiscosnacks corn thins 😀 . . . . #ww #weightwatchers #wwfreestyle #weightwatchersfreestyle #itrackbites #flexprogram #smartpoints #freestyle #wwig #wwinstagram #wwfam #wwinstafam #weightloss #weightlossjourney #wwsisters #wwsisterhood #weighin #weightloss #weightlossjourney #loseit #caloriecounting #lunch #bcd #buffalochickendip #goodthins #cornthins

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Depending on who you are (and who made you) you can be a little spicy–just like this dip! Under your baked exterior you have a gooey, cheesy heart. Someone just needs to a sharp enough chip or cracker to break through!

Taurus: Chips and Onion Dip

Taurus, you’re a classic. We can’t get enough of you. No matter if you’re homemade or store-bought, you’re everybody’s favorite party app because you bring the grounding flavors that leave people coming back for more.

Gemini: Shrimp Cocktail

First of all, don’t you dare be offended Gemini. Shrimp cocktail is good AF!!!! You’re fresh and tangy, just like this shellfish and tomato combo. Plus, because you’re easily bored we made you an app that’s fun to eat! Don’t forget to douse yourself in lemon, first.

Cancer: Mozzarella Sticks

Yes, we made you the warmest and gooiest snack, Cancer. You are comfort and indulgence both in food and in personality! Everybody feels cozier after having a taste–except the lactose adverse. You can’t please everyone!

Leo: Guacamole

Your commitment to receiving the most attention makes you a solid option for guacamole. Guess what people always want more of? Guac. Guess what always costs extra? Guac. Plus, it helps that eating avocado is actually great for that lion’s mane you call hair.

Virgo: Caprese Skewers

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I know, I know… Christmas just got over and the LAST thing you wanna think about is planning your New Year's party.🤦🏻‍♀️ But I gotchu😉👍🏼 These caprese skewers are low-calorie (less than 40 calories per skewer) with protein and veggies to hold your guests over til the main event.🎊🥂🍾 SO delicious with a reduced balsamic drizzle!😋👌🏼 Recipe created in collab with @abby and @tfn_team. . ✳️#NutritionTip: A 2013 scientific review of 29 controlled studies showed that dairy does have modest weight-loss benefits, at least in short-term, calorie-restricted instances. In other words, if you tolerate dairy, there's no reason to cut it out of your fat loss plan. Full research article on the health effects of dairy is linked on the blog! . In other news, today will be the first day hitting the gym in 8 days!😱 In the past, this might have stressed me out, but I’ve learned the value of having a deload week now and then😉 . 🍅Caprese Skewers🍃 Makes 6 servings . 🍅Ingredients: 24 toothpicks 48 cherry tomatoes 24 mozzarella balls 48 small basil leaves 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar 1/2 tsp. dried oregano (optional garnish) . *Substitutions and directions on the blog ➡️➡️➡️ www.noexcusesnutrition.com (link in bio, scroll to recent posts) . 🍃Calories (per serving = 4 skewers, including optionals): 148kcal, Fat: 9.3g, Sat fat: 6.1g, Carbs: 6g, Fiber: 2g, Sugar: 4g, Protein: 10g, Sodium: 117mg🍅 #NENsavoryrecipes . . . . . #capreseskewers #easyrecipes #healthyholidays #highprotein #lowcarb #eatyourveggies #glutenfree #realfood #healthyrecipes #healthyfoodshare #fitfood #fitfoodie #eatclean #cleaneats #IIFYM #ifitfitsyourmacros #flexibledieting #fuelyourbody #eatrealfood #foodisfuel #homecooking #nutritionist

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Okay, first of all look how pretty! Virgo you care about organization and aesthetics and this app is all about execution! Plus, knowing your secret temper you may have saved a few of those skewers in your pocket for later in case you need to confront whoever has been messing up the arrangement of the chicken nuggets!

Libra: Fried Macaroni Balls

Libra baby, you’re all fun on the outside and all warm and soft on the inside. You’re all about this balance of flavors and textures. Like macaroni balls, you charm everyone you meet so don’t be surprised if there are quite a few people crowding around your plate.

Scorpio: Chicken Wings

You’re oh so seductive Scorpio, just like wings in all flavors. Whether you’re boneless or bone-in, you offer so much to those who eat you and they relish the flavors (and personalities) you put on. You don’t need ranch or bleu cheese to make you a more palatable snack or person, it’s purely complementary.

Sagittarius: Pigs in A Blanket

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Mini crescent dogs #pigsinablanket

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You’re just a juicy surprise inside a flaky warm bun!! We made you a pig in a blanket because you love adventure (so you’re portable) and typically don’t give a floop what anyone thinks about your or what sauces you’re dipped in. You’re full of protein (and energy) but you have a soft side too. Plus, we could seriously eat 1000000 of you. You’re the best.

Capricorn: Chicken Nuggets

Chicken nuggets are not bland and boring, they are an absolute party STAPLE. If we come through to your party and there are no chicken nugz……we’re leaving. That’s also how we feel about Capricorns. Why stay anywhere there aren’t any of those guys? They work so hard to pair perfectly with every dip and sauce. Plus, they can be enjoyed as a main and not just an app–so versatile, so creative–just like a Cap!

Aquarius: Bagel Bites

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PIZZA BAGELS 🤘🏼🍕😛 #hungryhungry

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My wayward Aquarian, you’re a bagel bite. You’re a little outside the box as far as snacks go, but everyone gets freakin excited as hell when they see you. You’re also cute as fuck JUST like a mini bagel.

Pisces: Mini Quiche

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Mini quiche-uri 🧀🍅🥦 Crustă fragedă din pâte brisée, zis şi “aluat franţuzesc”, umplutură savuroasă ”scăldată-n” smântână și ouă de casă, acoperite c-o mână bună de cașcaval gustos și date la cuptor până se rumenesc frumos. Mini quiche-urile sunt varianta drăguță, gustoasă și deosebită a petrecerilor de birou. Comode la aranjat și lesne la servit, ele nu necesită veselă suplimentară și-ți economisesc o mulțime de timp. De asemenea, de mare ajutor sunt la petrecerile celor mici, unde fiecare copilaș are mini tarta sa și nu se ceartă nimeni pentr-o felie anumită, căci toate mini quiche-urile sunt la fel. În imagini sunt două tipuri de mini tarte sărate: 🥦 Montpellier: file de pui, ciuperci, broccoli 🧀 Alma: spanac, ricotta, Parmezan, ouă de prepeliță. Pregătim și alte feluri de mini quiche-uri atât vegetariene cât și cu carne. Pentru detalii scrie-ne un mesaj sau sună ☎️069562107.

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You love being posted up all cozy so like your water sister Cancer, you’re a very cozy-making app. You want to give your friends the most, and so you offer them a little of everything–which is why mini quiches come in so many flavors. They’re the Pisces of the frozen food aisle. Never crust-less tho…obvi.

Is Corn Bad For You?

I was once at a PR dinner where someone told me that corn is the worst thing that you could possibly eat. They told me this as I was slicing thickly buttered corn off of a cob to presumably put into my mouth and enjoy.

Corn is delicious, so I knew they couldn’t possibly be talking about the taste. They had to be talking about how nutritious it is–or the lack there of. This thought has honestly plagued me since they said it so I thought I would do my own investigating.

When you type “is corn” into Google, the first few things that pop up are:

-Is corn keto?

-Is corn healthy?

-Is corn a grain?

-Is corn gluten-free?

So clearly, people are having issues figuring out if corn will fit in to their keto and gluten-free diets as well as whether or not corn is a grain and if corn is overall a healthy thing to eat. Before now, I probably would have googled “is corn okay to eat after X many days” because I like to live dangerously and eat old leftovers sometimes when I find them in my fridge.

I am not an expert or a nutritionist or a doctor or on a diet. I am just a woman with a healthy curiosity about corn. So I did some investigating.

According to a report from Harvard, although corn is a vegetable it is the worst vegetable for you. 😡

The study found that starchy foods like corn and potatoes and peas have higher glycemic loads that make your blood sugar spike and will make you want to eat more of that item therefore causing you to gain weight. OH!

Since weight gain is not a bad thing, just a thing that happens if you are a person who eats and grows and ages, I had yet to be convinced. I wanted to find hard evidence that CORN IS BAD BECAUSE IT DOES XYZ TO YOUR BODY. You know, like internal bleeding from eating hot Cheetos. I kept digging.

Healthline brings up the fact that corn is frequently genetically modified, but that GMOs in relation to human health are a hotly debated topic. Some research shows that consuming GMOs can have a “toxic effect” on your organs. But apparently other research says there is practically no difference between the vegetable you grow in your backyard and the ones grown by Monsanto.

As someone who dated a person with raw vegan parents that owned a raw vegan restaurant and told fresh baby 18-year-old me that Monsanto is evil–something I have conducted further research on in my 20s and while I may not say that they are evil, they are incredibly sinister– I am more than likely to side with the fact that GMOS=bad.

HOWEVER

Healthline also lists a bunch of benefits about corn. Aside from it being tasty it benefits eye health, it’s packed with fiber, vitamins, minerals and it might even ward off colon disease.

This Healthline article was in DIRECT opposition of a thing I found on a weird paleo blog. This paleo blog says that it can actually harm your gut health severely. It also brings up GMOs. According to Paleo Flourish, corn is NOT paleo.

OKAY BUT THEN THIS RANDOM GUY, Dr. Axe, says that corn is high in vitamin c, is rich in magnesium and contains certain B-vitamins and potassium. He seems to be more in favor of corn but also brings up GMOs, high fructose corn syrup, and how it’s used in a lot of processed foods.

So is corn bad for you?

From what I can tell (I am NOT a corn expert, just a person who spent an hour online researching this) corn can be bad for you. Just like how people freak the fuck out over the high caloric content of a banana and its natural sugars, people seem to be freaking out about corn.

If it doesn’t fuck up your digestive system–meaning your body CAN digest it (not all bodies can)– it might spike your glucose levels which may cause you to eat more of it. If you’re eating genetically modified corn, it may cause health issues but also, if you’re eating fruits and vegetables from supermarkets in America without doing extensive research– You’re most likely eating genetically modified produce.

Corn does have nutritional benefits.

Gaining weight is a natural and normal.

If you want to explain to me why consuming corn will end my life…..shoot us an email or leave us a comment!

Corn is fine! Bye!

 

 

You Really Need To See This: The Canadian Cat Show Documentary

Sometimes after scrolling through Netflix for twenty minutes while gobbling up all of our TV snacks, we stumble upon a documentary that is just so perplexing we have to click on it.

Frequently, it’s about a murder or a missing person or even a missing murderer but this time it was about something far less sinister but nevertheless equally as titillating.

Catwalk: Tales From The Cat Show Circuit does not have a Rotten Tomatoes score yet, but when it does I hope it receives a sold 100% because that is what it deserves.

I am not a cat person despite my sister owning a cat since I was about nine. She is away at college and the cat still lives here and he has IBS and I have to clean up his barf and poop and I don’t even like this cat, much less love it.  Having him around has really influenced my feelings on cats. However, this film has profoundly changed how I feel about cat documentaries!**

**I had never seen a cat documentary until now so really I had nothing to compare it too anyway and therefore held no opinion on the matter other than probably “yuck, cats”

The film takes place in Canada at various cat shows and mainly follows two competing cat owners, married cat show judges, and a handful of cat admirers.

Right away you discover that Kim, the owner of  Bobby the white cat who always gets second place has it out for Shirley, the owner of the forever first place winner, a red fluffy cat named Oh La La. Bobby has never bested Oh La La (pronounced oo la la ?) who looks like she has had her face smashed against a door but is admittedly–very fluffy and beautiful.

Kim and the judges extoll the virtues of Bobby who seems great but looks pretty much like a regular cat that you would see sitting in a window.

Kim is kind of the villain of this story. There are other contestants and cat breeders that you see, who genuinely love their cats and don’t care–especially this woman with a cat named Maestro who she says she doesn’t care if he wins or loses because he is “the most beautiful thing in the world.” But Kim is not this way. Kim is a pageant mom.

Cat shows are not like dog shows. The cats don’t run in a circle or jump or whatever it is that they do during dog shows idk. It really seems to be all about how the cat looks. Again, Bobby looks fine but Bobby is no match for Oh La La and her feather duster/dust bunny looks. Kim seems to take this incredibly personally. “If you’re not number one, you’re the first loser!” she says in one part….to her cat or to herself? Who can say.

I’m pretty sure Kim also makes reference to Shirley (who just seems like a nice older lady with a hobby) and Shirley’s cat receiving bodily harm at some point? Kim is horribly bitter that Bobby has NEVER won!!! NEVER!! And like all villains, the root moment that inspired her towards vengeance is revealed in the documentary. And let me tell you, it does not disappoint. I will not ruin the film. All I will say is, if you’re a sympathetic puker….fast forward. It was not a good look for Bobby lol.

Yes, there are some adorable kittens. Yes, all of the women have cat hair clinging to every stitch of their clothing. We learn that not only is Kim desperate for Bobby to win, Kim is also insanely passionate about scuba diving, teaches scuba classes, and wants to retire to Mexico! We stan a queen with a full life! One of the judges also loves to garden. These women have lives beyond their 6 cats!

Overall, the doc is super comforting. It’s just about cats chillin’ while their human owners pet them.

I’m not going to say it made me like cats, but I will say it made me want to hold a baby kitten the entire time I was watching this show. It also made me want to encourage Kim to pursue her scuba dreams because they seem to honestly make her feel more free than the cat show world ever could!

Anyway, this documentary is magic. It’s on Netflix. I recommend watching it under a big blanket, preferably with a glass of wine. Or I guess, with a cat.

 

 

I’m Actually Doing Great On My New Year’s Resolutions, HBU?

The great part about New Year’s resolutions is that typically you make them and forget about them. This year however, we posted ours online which made me feel more responsible for them and also– this year I’ve been trying to hold myself more accountable for improving my life.

I made public resolutions and a few private ones. It is only January 16 (one day after my middle school crush’s bday!) but I wanted to check in with myself and with you about how we are doing.

So far in the new year I have thrown out all my old socks! Which is amazing. I literally had four drawers of socks that were anywhere from 10-years to 3-months-old. Now I only have one drawer of socks and they’re mainly holiday socks or sparkly fuzzy ones (which spark so much joy tbh)– so I am going to continue my Amazon search for nice inexpensive socks! Send me recs, please! Aren’t you riveted you read this paragraph.

I said I was going to cook all the bookmarked recipes I have saved on my computer. So far this year I have made one of them (pretty great for 2019!) and I know what my next few are going to be. However, I have also bookmarked 3 new recipes since January 1, so the list is growing. But they sound amazing! They are this crunchy looking salad, this Trader Joe’s potsticker stir-fry, and this insane-looking vegetable puff pastry thing.

Another one of my resolutions has been cooking more and I’ve been doing that in SPADES. They’ve just all been recipes I know and love. This year I’m gonna branch out, I promise!!!

In 2019 I have updated my computer every time it has asked me to (which is surprisingly a lot?) So you’re welcome, Steve Jobs.

I have yet to frame any of my art or go to 5 new states or go hot air ballooning, but I have tried new cheeses, said no to tomatoes on sandwiches/salads in restaurants, and worn more glitter on my face/body/hair.

I didn’t get clogs yet but I did get snakeskin boots and I have been drinking more gin in favor of drinking less vodka (and therefore less vodka cranberries, part of a private resolution). I would like to think I have been more honest about what I want and more honest about what scares me and also things that I hate. It may take me a while to get to Australia, but I have already secured my first freelancing gig of 2019, so that’s something.

I’m feeling pretty accountable and also like I finally found hair products that I like and think work for my texture and length.

How are your resolutions going? I hope you made them small enough to chew because I think that’s the secret, really. Do little things that you know will make you feel appreciative of yourself every day and it will improve your life and your attitude. Even if it’s only deleting Tinder.

xoxo