Good Thing: An end to the legion of FOMO inducing vacation pics from everyone I follow on Instagram. It appears every single person on my timeline vacationed in Italy at some point this summer. You all look extremely beautiful, relaxed, and full of cacio e pepe and aperol spritzes – frankly I’m just jealous and sad that I couldn’t join you on the beaches of Positano for some amazing Instagram opportunities!
Bad Thing: Not being able to use your colleagues’ overlapping vacations as an excuse for postponing an annoying project. We all knew that putting this off was going to come back to haunt us and yet we couldn’t help but throw up our hands and all too joyfully say fuck it when we got that OOO notification. It will be December before we get to say “Let’s reconnect when you’re back in the office” again.
Good Thing: I will not miss the sensation of living inside an enormous sauna. I love spicy temps because my favorite outfit consists of a sundress and sandals but humidity can fuck all the way off. Who likes feeling like they need to take 3 showers in a day? It reduces my state of existence to that of decomposing slug and I know that I speak for 90% of humanity when I say that we all have a hard and fast opinion about humidity and it’s a resounding chorus of “UGH MY HAIR.”
Bad Thing: Inevitably because humans are full of contradictions, in approximately three months, many of us will be lamenting the loss of consistently warm weather as soon as it hits 50 degrees. Unearthing long-forgotten coats from the back of the closet to lug around until next April is going be fraught with misery. At least, we’ll always have the winter weather to use for small talk with the baby boomers in our office.
Good Thing: Looking forward to a six month reprieve from the phrases “summer body” and “beach body.” Guess what! All bodies can enjoy summer and all bodies can go to the beach. It is long overdue to retire the societal assumption that your body must be hairless, bronzed like a historical bust, and look exactly like Kourtney Kardashian’s in order for you to enjoy yourself at poolside or at the beach. Let’s never forget this legendary body-positive meme:
Bad Thing: Saying goodbye to stone fruits 😦 The ultimate flavor of summer is a nectarine – don’t even come at me with watermelon or peaches or cherries because trust me, I am more than willing to die on this hill! Nectarines are sweet but not in that overwhelming sugary way that a peach is – it’s a coy, fresh sweetness. Essentially they are the more mysterious, cooler cousins of peaches. If a nectarine had an Instagram, she probably carried a Susan Alexandra bag before they popped up all over every fashion girl’s Insta.