Aries
Hot Toddy
You know how to be warm and comforting towards any of your friends who’ve been out in the (emotional) cold, but you also know how to fuck someone up. Yeah Aries, you’re all sweet and clove-y during the good times, but you taste like rotten apples coming up the morning after. Keep being that liquid sweater the people you love desperately need. Don’t be the hangover they didn’t deserve.
Taurus
Pumpkin Pie
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnq18g1HXpR/?tagged=pumpkinpie
Everybody wants you Taurus! You’re that tasty bit of tradition that people look forward to all year long. You’re good for breakfast, lunch, dinner, or as a snack. Even though it seems like everybody has a special family recipe–you pretty much always taste the same. But that’s exactly how we like it!
Gemini
Candy Corn
You’re candy corn because you have haters, but don’t cry Gemini! You also have admirers who are obsessed with you and tend to go a little candy corn-crazy right around this time. Some might say you’re all the same, but you know your yellow bits taste different from the orange–and especially the white! Oh, and everyone forgets you exist after Halloween. Sorry.
Cancer
Sweet Potato Casserole
Oh my little Cancer babe, I know you want to crawl right under that mountain of marshmallows and snuggle right up in all that sweet potato smush. You’re the coziest sign and this is probably the coziest fall food. But careful not to give yourself one of those tummy aches you’re so prone to! Too much sweet potatoes will sit inside you like a stone.
Leo
Tomato Soup And Grilled Cheese
You taste like heaven and you know it, Leo. Cheesy (but enough about your sense of humor), spicy (but enough about your personality), and a cold weather favorite- you light up meal times (and every room) even if you’re just two Kraft Singles and a can of Campbell’s soup. But that’s hardly news to you.
Virgo
Chicken Pot Pie
You take skill to and time to make, my little Virgo perfectionist darling. You’re traditional, but you’re never bland. You’re actually quite intricate and full of tiny surprises like peas and carrots even though you’re usually hidden by some sort of plain (but flaky and delicious) crust. Moms love you.
Libra
Pumpkin Spice Latte
Don’t get mad Libra! I’m not calling you basic, although you probably wouldn’t mind that anyway. You may have been co-opted by sorority sisters in fleece vests and Uggs (not that there’s anything wrong with that) but when you’re not at Starbucks you’re actually pretty good. You’re spicier than you are sweet and confident that even though people talk shit, they actually like you a lot. No wonder you come back every year!
Scorpio
Roasted Brussels Sprouts
Scorpio, you’re roasted brussels sprouts because you’re so good people could eat you like chips. Yeah, little kids hate you and there are a select group of adults who act like you suck, but everyone who has tasted you knows the truth. You’re fucking delicious as hell. Too bad you stink up the whole house.
Sagittarius
Caramel Apple
People who have never had you don’t know what they’re missing Sagittarius. You’re covered in sugar, but underneath you’ve got that deliciously crisp bite that comes through just like your wit and sense of adventure. Dressed up with sprinkles and nuts you’re a photographic treat, but you’re just as delicious all broken down.
Capricorn
Apple Cider Doughnut
You’re so cozy, but not in the traditional way. You’re a more practical doughnut–no sprinkles or icing, but you’re fall as fuck and good as fuck and you’re destined to be a tasty snack enjoyed while romping around the pumpkin patch, and you love that.
Aquarius
Spaghetti Squash
My curious Aquarius, you are just as light and airy as the spaghetti squash the universe (and I) have decided you are. With all your artistic abilities, you could be anything from a pasta dish with marinara and mozzarella to a a butter and garlic melange with chicken. Have more faith in yourself! People like you! Especially vegans.
Pisces
Pumpkin Beer
You’re a beer babe Pisces, and around this time you like to get festive. You’re totally a pumpkin brew, best enjoyed outside with the changing leaves. No one considers you basic (even though you are) but whatever. You’re just one the lads, drinking a beer (a pumpkin beer) and you’re cozy and cute as shit.
Lately 