Six Non Obvious Relationship Milestones

First date, first time meeting the parents, first time you say I love you – sure, those are happy, memorable occasions that act as the foundation of the relationship you’ll build with your partner. But these little and equally as important, yet often overlooked, moments are all the nails and screws that hold everything together. And that’s all of the construction metaphors you’re going to get from me so on to the list!

When you do their birth chart

You asked your partner multiple times for their time of birth, which somehow they don’t know off the top of their head! It’s okay, you’ll just casually slip it into conversation with their mom at the next family function and voila! You’ve secured the full birth chart. Now time to assess your full compatibility on the Co.Star app.

When you ask them to smell your breath to see if it smells bad

You lean in close and whisper, “Does my breath reek?” after eating a loaf of garlic bread large enough for a family of four. “Yes,” they tell with you with the utmost confidence and sincerity and total lack of judgment. It’s not awkward at all and you feel assured that they like you despite your garbage mouth.

When you show them a mortifying photo from your awkward emo phase

You know that photo that you painstakingly removed any traces of from your online presence? It’s that photo from the most cringy time of your teenage years when social media was only a burgeoning part of our culture and youths were actually very lame and didn’t resemble mini Instagram influencers. This photo hasn’t seen the light of day in over 10 years but you know they’ll get a kick out of it and you trust your partner to laugh with you, not at you.

When you know each others’ best sides for your selfies together

You’ve both developed a weird form of muscle memory, typically possessed by models and IG baddies, where as soon as the camera app opens, you both assume your designated selfie poses and hit your angles with ease. Together, you consistently produce masterpieces for the gram. Time to post and watch the likes roll in.

When you establish nonsensical pet names for each other

Pet names are one of the best and purest forms of intimacy, especially those are born out of an inside joke. That date when they ordered three spicy margaritas in the span of one hour? Well, now their name is Diablo. That time that you snort laughed really loudly at their bad joke? Now you’re called Little Piglet.

When you have your first poop conversation

It’s just like that time-old saying goes, “The couple that talks about poop together, stays together.” It totally puts you on a new level of emotional intimacy. Until you have your first poop talk, anything bathroom-related has you both feeling a little uncomfortable. But the moment that you stop holding it in and let it all flow (hehe), you both instantly feel so much better!

 

 

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