We’re blaming this sh*t for EVERYTHING
Forgetting your car keys inside your already locked home
Spilling coffee down your shirt even though you’re using a straw
Walking into closing elevator doors
Your computer freezing
Your phone freezing
Your brain freezing
Crying at work
Forgetting your lunch
Having a pimple
Having three pimples
Food stuck in your teeth
Spelling erroerss
Instagram is down
Your tweet got 0 likes
Burned toast
Split ends
Your podcast only halfway downloaded and now you’re in a dead zone for another hour
Getting a ticket
A sunburn
Getting ghosted
Getting into a fight
A hair in your food
Choking on literally nothing
Battery dies in your vibrator
No one telling you you have a booger
Getting your period in white pants
Getting your period in any pants, really
A text from your ex
No wifi
Lately 