The Year That Wasn’t

Once upon a time, there was a year that didn’t exist.

On December 31, people everywhere counted down “3…2…1” and at the stroke of midnight, everything disappeared.

Or that’s how it feels anyway when I think about how 2020 has gone. Yes, we had a January and February and even a week or two of March, but where has the rest of the time gone?

I’d like to think it hasn’t all been wasted. The creative, food, fashion, and beauty communities have demanded accountability from their people in power, and some even got it. The Black Lives Matter protests have continued, because Black lives matter and because everyone should be protesting the horrific treatment (whether it makes headlines or not) of women, men and non-binary people in the Black community. Everyone should be anti-racist. We have been working on defunding the police. These things happened this year. These things matter.

The fact that we all abandoned our sourdough starters does not.

However, I have been thinking about all the things I wanted to do and thought I was going to do this year, and now can’t.

So here’s my list:

Visit Australia

I was thinking Melbourne. The universe was thinking Coronavirus.

Have my friends over to my apartment for a dinner party

In March, I moved to a new apartment. COVID hit exactly two weeks later. During that time, exactly 3 friends saw my new place. Now I am moving into ANOTHER apartment across town. Kind of sad that no one was ever able to come here and that I was never able to have a house warming!! But I will treasure the Thai food and movies I watched with Chelsea and Julia and that one time I cooked eggplant and steak with Mijal. Also… how close I currently am to a Sephora.

Chicago Summer

There’s nothing quite like summertime Chi. The city comes alive. Everyone is showing off their pasty white winter legs on sunny patios, the lake is a sparkling Sapphire, you can drink in the middle of street and eat Harold’s chicken if you spend too much money at Taste of Chicago. It’s the best. I wanted to go this year. Oh well!

Get a new tattoo

I have about 7 different ideas, only two of which I can remember at any given time. Also, my tattoo shop is closed.

Guide my little cousin through her first year of college

My poor little cousin. She is a freshman this year, and at my alma mater. I was so excited to be “the cool cousin” and give her pro-tips about dorms, where to go out, where to eat, etc… But as excited as I was, it’s definitely 10000 times worse for her.

Go out with friends

I would pay infinity dollars to safely be out at a bar with my friends on a Friday night, standing in a little circle of my ladies. I want to be definitely tipsy, shouting to be heard over whatever bar music. I am picturing The Lincoln. My next cocktail is something fruity. I’m wearing block heels and a leather jacket. My friend Katie is asking me to come stand outside with her while she smokes a cigarette. I will take an Uber home before my friends ask to go to the next bar. Life is good.

Try new restaurants

This is the only thing I have still done under Q. While I am not able to take in the ambiance of new establishments, I have still been able to try their food via the comfort of my bed. I now need to buy new sheets as these have all been stained.

Visit New York

It’s on my list every year to go. I don’t know why I want to do it. I hate New York.

Go to at least one hotel

I did plan on staying in a hotel this year. I still can. But with enormous trepidation!!! Everything gives me anxiety!!! Including towels folded like swans and bathtub plugs swimming with other people’s ickies!!!

Learn ASL and take an ASL class

I guess I could still take a class online?

Try on clothing in a shop

I DID plan on trying clothes on in a dressing room at some point in 2020. Basically my style has just become oversized tees and bike shorts because I don’t want to go through the hassle of bringing shit home, trying it on and then going alllll the way back to return what doesn’t fit.

ANYWAY, I have stopped blaming it totally on people who won’t stay home to flatten the curve and now blame it mostly on our government’s total lack of sense/preparation/caring.

I mean if you’re still going to crowded bars and big parties and stuff, f*ck you.

Always exhausted & always yours


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