My Mom’s Best-Ever Vegetarian Chopped Liver Recipe

Rosh Hashanah is just two weeks away. In honor of the impending Jewish New Year (5783 baby!), I’m sharing my mom’s really, truly, so very good recipe for vegetarian chopped liver.

If you’ve made it this far and you’re thinking “what the heck is chopped liver?” It’s basically Jewish foie gras.

It’s a pâté.

It’s a meat spread made of chicken livers, eggs, onion and spices.

Chopped liver is savory, iron-y and delectably rich. Some people avoid it for health reasons. Some people avoid it for vegetarian reasons. Some people avoid it because they find the idea of eating liver kind of gross.

Most of my family isn’t big on meat. I’m sorry if this makes you so mad you stop reading right now. But also, it’s 2022. Please get over it.

Sure, my great grandma has a delicious chopped liver recipe that we bust out on occasion. When we gather for the holidays we usually have a brisket or some form of chicken. But most of our dishes are mainly veg/carbs (shoutout to kugel).

Vegetarian chopped liver is always the star appetizer. The herbaceous, meat-free spread evokes the seasonings and consistency of real chopped liver, without being… ya know… meat! Plus, it’s great on Manischewitz Tam Tams or with a carrot stick.

I know chopped liver seems like more of a Jewish thing, but don’t get it twisted — anyone can make/enjoy chopped liver! Especially the vegetarian kind. That’s why I am sharing this. And if you’ve made it this far and you’re STILL shaking your head in disgust, thank you for logging that sweet, sweet time on site but you can officially log off!

She is not beautiful but she does not have to be! Let her power be a lesson to you all!

NOW! THE RECIPE!

You can always make more or less but this should serve about 6 people.

You’ll need:

The vegetable oil of your choice

3 hard-boiled eggs

1 cup green beans

1 and 1/2 cups green peas

2 big onions, coarsely chopped

“A shit load of salt and pepper” – according to my mother

A pinch of lemon pepper

A little garlic powder

A food processor (or a blender that will pulse and not turn things into juice when you don’t want them to be).

DIRECTIONS:

Hard boil 3 eggs for 10 minutes. Set aside to cool. Once cooled, peel and quarter.

Pour 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil into a pan. Wait until the oil is shimmering. Then add your onion and cook until it starts to caramelize. Turn off burner heat.

Coarsely chop up your green beans, then add them to your onion pan, along with your green peas. Sauté everything together until cooked. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Add 1/2 cup of vegetable oil to your food processor. Add eggs, onions, beans and peas. Season well with salt and pepper, add as much garlic powder as you like (I only like a pinch but it’s your VCL).

Start pulsing/blending/pulverizing. If it’s too thick, add a little more oil. You want the final product to be spreadable but NOT liquid-y. Think hummus or any other sort of dip!

Once you’re there or nearly there, add a pinch of lemon pepper to taste. I would mix it up with a spoon so as not to ruin the consistency.

Chill for several hours in an air-tight container. My mom said that if it’s not air-tight your refrigerator is gonna stink lol.

Serve chilled with lovely crackers and vegetables. You could also serve this with challah, which would be pretty good too.

Anyway, almost Shana Tovah!

L

Holiday Gifts Under $25

‘Tis the damn season, so I figured I would make another gift guide.

Can you believe I make $0 off these links?

Me either!

Anyway, why is everything so dang expensive?? I’m just trying to get my friends some Christmas and Chanukah presents and go. If you are also trying to find some small things to mail to your far away friends, hand off to your next door neighbor, stuff in your sister’s stocking or just reward yourself for getting through the week: These holiday gifts under $25 are for you!

Really cool wine glasses: $25 via Amazon

Shoutout to my friend Tori who told me she was looking for some “cool” wine glasses. That sent me down a rabbit hole of various glass shapes and price points. If you don’t want to spend a ton of money but still want to feel like you’re sipping out of something fancy, I really like this $25 option.

Trendy sunglasses: $10.99 via Amazon

These sunnies are such a cute shape. They also come in a few other colors. Plus they’re $11 so if you’re prone to losing sunglasses (like I am 😩) then you will only feel slightly less bad when they disappear into the crevices of your car/the leather booth at a CPK/your friend’s parent’s vacation home.

The Tinx Tumbler: $22 via Amazon

I use this tumbler every single day. It comes in multiple colors, sizes and keeps your drinks icy cold AND super hot (yes, I have hot girl walked with a hot coffee in here!). Tinx, everybody’s favorite cheugy older sister TikToker, is the one who originally recommended this product. Unlike her taste in L.A. restaurants, she absolutely did not miss with this one.

Everyday Oil: $22

Hands down, this is my favorite body oil. The glass packaging feels EXTREMELY luxe. I use the mainstay blend which is scented with palo santo, lavender, geranium and clary sage. If you’re scent-averse (or gifting to someone who is) they also sell an unscented version. I like to store my bottle in the shower. As soon I turn off the water I apply a heavy pump of this oil all over my skin to trap moisture. The 1 oz size is $14, 2 oz is $22 and 8 oz is $48.

Designer Dust Co. highlighter: $18

My friend Nicole’s brand Designer Dust Co. makes THE BEST sparkling highlighter. They come in four gorgeous, buttery-soft shades. A must-have for any friend/family member who is into beauty. The brand even has a celebrity following– Rachel Bloom is a fan!

A very cute ceramic cup: $20

You know what would make a cute gift? This ceramic cup and some fancy hot cocoa with artisanal marshmallows.

Did someone say hot chocolate and marshmallows?

These cuties are $10.

Ariana Grande Cloud Eau De Perfume: $25

It was the cult perfume of 2020 and I’ve heard it’s a good dupe for Baccarat Rouge. I personally can’t wear the scent anymore because it reminds me of my depression. HOWEVER, it smells wonderful on everyone who wears it and it’s $25 at Walmart rn.

Palate Polish: $14

My friend Bri turned me on to this wonderful women-owned nail polish brand. Palate Polish is 10-free, vegan and cruelty free. Their polishes come in a variety of gorgeous, quick-drying colors and are named for foods. I personally own a bunch of their polishes and love them.

For your friend who STILL doesn’t have a wine corkscrew: $14

This purchase is absolutely inspired by my beautiful friend Mijal. If you too have a friend who deserves a rose gold wine opener (I personally don’t call them corkscrews but that’s because I am trash), this is a pretty and practical option. It’s something everyone should have in their home on the off chance a guest brings over something BESIDES a twist-off.

Wall art: $25

Perhaps you have a sister who went camping at a national park once and made it her entire personality or a best friend that you drive to Joshua Tree with whenever you want to sing Olivia Rodrigo anthems at the top of your lungs. Brandi creates prints representing a variety of national parks, in the style of classic tattoos. While you can buy a poster right now, her next t-shirt drop is on Dec. 4. Swo set your phone alarms accordingly!

Cozy plush open-toe Slippers: $19

You KNOW there is nothing I love more than some fluffy footwear. If you’re not looking to spend Ugg money on a loved one, these vibrant, soft-looking slippers are almost as good. They come in five different colors and are under $20! I might even get a pair for myself lol.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS !

I HOPE THIS POST DOES WELL IN SEO-HO-HO-HO

xx

Chanukah Harry