How to Make Eggs

I recently watched a TikTok where a girl was sobbing about how “it” never ends. She panned to piles of dirty laundry and a sink full of dishes.

The video was duet-ed by a woman who explained that “care” never ends. You will always have laundry to do, dishes to clean, bookshelves to dust, etc. She explained that your level of “care” fluctuates, depending on what you have going on in your life.

A really important “care” thing for me is knowing how to make food. Sure, sometimes care looks like Postmating Thai food, but the need to nourish your body never ends and money does (otherwise I would be ordering Thai food for every meal for the rest of my life). That’s where cooking comes in.

I didn’t realize how few of my friends knew how to boil or fry an egg until quarantine began. Please believe me when I tell you that I had three different people text me about this.

A desire to learn is worthy of applause, as is a desire to care for oneself.

If you are a person with access to a kitchen with a stove, have a frying pan and a small pot, and want to learn to cook eggs for yourself but never learned how, THIS IS FOR YOU!!!

I promise, this is all easy as hell. Even if you’ve never done it before.

Plus, you’re not just learning how to hard boil an egg, you’re half of the way to making egg salad or a breakfast sandwich or a pasta topping.

HOW TO MAKE A HARD BOILED EGG

There are two ways of doing this, but I’m going to teach you the way my grandma taught me, which I think is the easiest. You will need a pot, so something with tall sides that can hold a lot of water, a spoon, some water and then as many eggs as you want to make.

  1. Fill a small pot with water and set it on a stove burner at a high heat.
  2. Bring your pot of water to a boil on the stove. You will know it is boiling when the water is bubbling.
  3. Take your spoon and gently put an egg on it and place the egg into the boiling water. Do this GENTLY. You’re trying not to crack the egg.
  4. Take the spoon out
  5. Set a timer on your phone for 8 minutes (if you like your egg yolk to be a little runny) or 9 minutes (for a firmer egg).
  6. DO NOT TOUCH THE WATER LET IT KEEP BOILING
  7. When the timer goes off, TURN OFF THE WATER.
  8. Take your spoon and scoop the egg out of the pot. You can either leave it on the counter to cool or run it under cold sink water (while it balances on the spoon) until it is cool enough to touch.
  9. When it is cool enough, you can peel the shell off the egg. My best advice for peeling the shell off is to 1. GET A PAPER TOWEL. 2. Put the egg on the paper towel. 3. Gently crush the egg with your palm (don’t flatten it so it explodes. Be gentle!), rolling it back and forth a little until cracks form all over. Then peel all the crunchy part off.
  10. Throw your shell away. I recommend pouring a little salt and pepper on your plate and dipping your egg into the mixture for a lil flavor.

WANT TO TURN YOUR HARD BOILED EGGS INTO EGG SALAD?

Boil and peel 4 eggs (assuming you’re making egg salad for 1 person. If you’re making it for two, I would double the amount of everything). Cut the eggs up on a plate or cutting board. It doesn’t really matter how. You could also put them all into a bowl and mash them. You do you. But you’re going to need to combine your eggs in a bowl anyway, with some mayo (I would recommend about 1/4 cup but you can eyeball it), about 1 squirt of yellow mustard, chopped up green onion, pepper, salt and paprika. Mix it all up with a fork. Voila! You just made egg salad. Put it on some toasted bread or eat it with peppers and pickles if you’re a TikToker.

HOW TO MAKE SCRAMBLED EGGS

My boyfriend is practically a genius, so when we started living together I was stunned to discover that he doesn’t know how to make scrambled eggs.

That, or he is completely pulling my leg and doesn’t want to make breakfast.

There are many different ways to make scrambled eggs. However, you don’t need to do it the fancy French way, or add milk or a ton of butter. All you need is two eggs (three if you’re really hungry), a small bowl, 1 fork, a frying pan, a wooden spoon or spatula and some sort of fat, like butter or olive oil.

  1. Crack your eggs into a small bowl. If you get eggshell in there, take one of the halves of the already broken shell and fish out the tiny piece that got way. Shell attracts shell. My grandma taught me that and it is probably the best piece of advice I have ever been given.
  2. Take your fork and stab the yellow yolks until they don’t look like perfect circles anymore. Then, mix the eggs together. You should be left with a yellow-y mixture.
  3. Set the bowl aside.
  4. Take your pan and set it on a stove burner. Turn the burner to medium-high heat.
  5. Let the pan get hot. You’ll know it’s hot (DON’T TOUCH IT) when you hold your hand over it, and you can feel the heat.
  6. Turn the heat down to low.
  7. Throw some butter or olive oil in there. Not a lot. If you want to use a measurement I would say 1/2 a teaspoon of olive oil or if you’re using butter, I would say use about as much as you would typically spread on toast.
  8. Spread it around the pan with your wooden spoon.
  9. Pour your egg mixture into the pan.
  10. LET IT SIT FOR ABOUT 30 SECONDS.
  11. Then take your wooden spoon and make small circles. You don’t want the egg to cook in one solid circle, you’re trying to make curds by breaking them up.
  12. You will know your eggs are done when there are no longer any sort of mucus-y looking parts to it. If you are like my boyfriend and you can’t be bothered to pay attention to what that means, I would say about two minutes.
  13. Serve immediately

WANT TO MAKE BREAKFAST TACOS?

*I am in no way claiming that this is the way to make authentic tacos. It is definitely not!!*

You’re going to need any tortillas of your choice. They don’t even have to be taco-sized, you could also make this a breakfast burrito or roll-up. You’ll need cheddar cheese and hot sauce. Assuming you just made the scrambled eggs, take a clean frying pan and put it on the burner at low heat. Put your tortilla in the pan. While your tortilla heats up, sprinkle it with cheddar cheese. Wait for it to melt. If you’re feeling fancy, this is when you can add things like tomatoes, onions, jalapeños, beans, meat, etc… Then dump your scrambled eggs on top and let them get a little warmer (they likely will have cooled). Remove taco from frying pan, top with hot sauce!

HOW TO FRY AN EGG (THIS IS THE LAST ONE I PROMISE)

You’ll need an egg, a frying pan, a spatula and some sort of fat like olive oil or butter.

  1. Put your frying pan on a stove burner at high heat. Let it get hot. You’ll know it’s hot (DON’T TOUCH IT) when you hold your hand over it, and you can feel the heat.
  2. Put about a tablespoon of olive oil or butter into the pan. Can’t be bothered to measure? Cut off a big hunk of butter or make a small pool olive oil. Let the butter melt (or just leave the olive oil alone in the pan).
  3. This part is the trickiest part IMO. You need to crack the egg and put it in the pan. The simplest way to do this is to crack the egg against the pan and dump in its contents. If you are afraid of getting burned or of leaving shell in there by mistake, get a small bowl and crack the egg into there instead. Then dump the egg from the bowl into the frying pan.
  4. Yes, the oil/butter will make scary noises while it cooks the egg. Get over it tbh.
  5. You will know when one side is done because the outer edges of the egg will start to brown and turn crispy.
  6. Take your spatula and slide it under the egg. You are going to flip the egg. Yes, you can do this. There is no way to fuck it up other than to chuck the egg on the floor. Focus!! Flip the egg over so the other side can cook!!!
  7. Wow you did it.
  8. Let it sit there are like….2 to 2 1/2 minutes. Do a little longer (3 min) for a firmer yolk.
  9. TURN THE HEAT OFF.
  10. Take your spatula and take the egg out of the pan!!!! Now you can add this fried egg to a piece of toast, bowl of pasta, rice or something!!!

I don’t really have another recipe for you with this. My only advice, is that everything tastes better with a fried egg on it. Try it on pasta, pizza, a grain bowl, on some fried rice, avocado toast… honestly the sky is the limit with this one. My favorite way to eat a fried egg rn is between two halves of an english muffin with some cheddar cheese and hot sauce mmmmmmm.

ANYWAY

If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. If you want to learn how to make other basic things, LMK. I can also teach you how to make harder things. Idk. I’m here!! Caring never stops! And that is okay. We can do this together.

M*ney

I am currently saving money for a pair of shoes that don’t actually exist.

I know that I want new shoes. I mean, I always want new shoes. But after a recent closet purge at Buffalo Exchange where I made $160 selling what felt like $1,000 worth of goods, I realized I had sold a lot of my nicer pieces, including fancy shoes that I currently have no business wearing (because where the hell do I even go?), but will want to replace to wear later.

I pulled open tabs on Staud, Suzanne Rae, Maryam Nassir Zadeh, Brother Vellies, etc… and quickly realized — 1. Sh*t, I am broke, and 2. Would it feel as good to instantly replace my shoes (and go into even MORE debt) than it would to save up for a pair I actually have my eye on?

Also 3….. or do I want a purse??

So, they’re more metaphorical “shoes” than anything.

One of the few reasons I am so glad to live in 2020 (including being on the same plane of existence as Harry Styles) is that there is an app for everything. I’ll preface this by saying, THIS IS NOT AN AD. I have in no way been paid to endorse anything. I just really love the Digit app.

You can make this money app do whatever you want (besides give you more money lol). Right now, I have it scheduled to pull a little money (and I mean truly a tiny bit) from my checking account for a “rainy day fund,” and a little bit of money that I use to pay my credit card bill with.

So when I realized I might want new shoes/a new purse/diamond earrings/the magic potion that will make Harry Styles fall in love with me, I set up a new “Savings Goal,” as the app calls it.

I labeled it “NEW SHOES!!!” Because I am someone who enjoys caps and exclamation points to make life more exciting. I picked a random number to save up to that would afford me dream shoes, and in a time frame that would turn my little nest egg into a present for New Years (because 2021 HAS to be better than 2020. Especially if I start it by wearing new shoes.)

The app then alerted me that it would need to save between $5 – $15 every day, depending on what’s in my checking account.

My lizard brain thought…$5 to $15?? That’s like…my daily Starbucks coffee and a bagel! NO! But then my humanoid brain whispered into my hippocampus, “I dare you to do it, bitch.”

Yes, this post is disgusting and steeped in privilege. I am a woman who can afford to save money for something she doesn’t actually need. Giving up a daily dose of Starbucks is not a hardship.

What I have learned about myself since March 2020, when everything shut down and changed, is that I am a person who spends money to feel better. During the pandemic, it has reached a fever pitch (mom I know you are reading this and freaking out. Please take a breath and calm down.) I know, through communicating with friends, that other people are going through a similar thing. But it still feels incredibly shameful and isolating.

It feels good to buy goods that support small business, because everyone is floundering. But then I feel like I am floundering (mental health wise) and I want to support myself through self care. Then I realize that I am a piece of sh*t because the world around me is crumbling and I need to donate to bail funds and free food fridges and NOT buy that Amazon potato peeler because I should be at a place in my life where I am perfectly fine just peeling all my fruit and potatoes and things with a knife, and if I wanted to practice good self care I would just go paint my nails or something. Which makes me think about how I want new nail polish and then the cycle starts again.

So I have been meditating on it.

I may not actually buy “shoes” or a “purse” or anything at all.

I would like to think I am trying to break this money cyclone I have created for myself, and be more mindful when it comes to WHY I am making purchases, and stop that bottomless hole feeling. Do I feel anxious right now? Am I buying new bedsheets because I am depressed or because I can’t get that hot sauce stain out? Will I still want this item in 2 weeks? Remember the glitter chair quarantine purchase????

By acknowledging that I am saving money for a goal, I am attempting to have less of a knee-jerk response to self-soothe by entering my secret code on any website that takes Shopify.

That includes unsubscribing from sites I like that offer me daily deals and my compulsory “I left the house coffee” (which NGL, is going to be super hard because it has become a ritual for me to go on a walk to get that delicious, delicious iced bean water).

I will be real with you my beautiful readers, who I hope don’t think I am now scum on the bottom of a Jimmy Choo… I do still want shoes. And I will probably allow myself one coffee outing a week. But I have made this blog post in an attempt to be accountable? In an attempt to be transparent?

Both, I guess.

I just hope someone out there relates to this/doesn’t tell me to burn in hell for behaving irresponsibly with my money.

Please don’t punch me in the face if you see me with an iced latte on the street.

X

LL

Pimple Patches: What Works & What Doesn’t

Let’s talk pimple patches! Zit stickers! Blemish bubbles! Spot dots!

If you have no idea what they are, they’re basically pimple-fighting bandaids that come in a variety of shapes and sizes. You’ve likely seen them on your cool little cousin’s face via Instagram story.

I like them a lot because when I wear them, I don’t pick at spots on my face, which I’m prone to doing–thereby avoiding a large ugly scab!

If you’re anything like me (a 26 year old who still gets acne) then at some point you’ve probably tried them out. You were standing in line at Sephora or Urban Outfitters and saw pimple patches in the impulse buys and thought, “eh…what hell?”

Then you went home and after a few days of sticking shit to your face, were like wtf this doesn’t work.

However, if you’re actually insane like me, you’ve wasted a shit ton of money tried so many of them you now know what DOES work and want to share the wealth.

You’re welcome.

COSRX Acne Pimple Master Patch

These were the first pimple patches I ever tried because my actual goddess Rio Viera-Newton said they were good and her word is typically bible. These are good for sucking the gross stuff out of a mostly surface level pimple. They do best on a flat space like a forehead, front of the chin or cheek. They come in a variety of sizes but they aren’t very flexible and if you have a zit that’s on an angular part or anything curved, it’s not going to stay put.

Peace Out Acne Healing Dots

While these are awkward size wise (they only come in one size), I find that they tend to stick to the contours of your face better than some others. While these aren’t my first choice for cystic spots (deep, painful ones that won’t pop) these are pretty good at reducing inflammation. Plus, they’re sold at Sephora so you don’t have to bother with online ordering bullshit.

Acropass Trouble Cure Patch

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. #acropass #アクロパス アクロパスエーシーケア . . @acropass7 さまより キャンペーンで頂いていました🥺💕 ありがとうございました🙇🏻‍♀️ . . こちらは、マイクロニードルのニキビパッチに昼用のパッチとスキンクレンザーが一緒に入っている有難いセット!🎉 . . 🌿マイクロニードル 溶解性のマイクロニードルにはヒアルロン酸とEGF、ナイアシンアミド、みんな大好きビタミンCなどの配合成分が。 髪の毛の1/3の細さの繊細なニードルで皮膚角質層に浸透してお肌の中で溶けて浸透します!✨ . ニードルの周囲はハイドロコロイド湿潤バンドでできており、密着力はあるのに周りの皮膚が荒れない👏🏻 . 🌿防腐剤・添加物なし! . 🌿最低2時間で配合成分がしっかりと吸収されます。 . . 🌿デイケア用のパッチは大好きなハイドロコロイド製❤️ . . 常に顎ニキビ、たまにTゾーン全体。 とにかく調子が良くなったりぶり返したりで苦しんでおります😥 . すぐに治らなさそうなものにはこういったパッチをひたすら貼り続けています! . そのままにしてるより治りが断然早い気がします! . たまにできるニキビにお悩みの方にはオススメ!🥺 . #コスメレポ #韓国コスメレビュー #コスメレビュー #review #スキンケア #ニキビ #ニキビパッチ #マイクロニードル #韓国コスメ #韓国化粧品 #韓国旅行 #韓国メイク #韓国好き #韓国好きな人と仲良くなりたい #韓国すきな人と繋がりたい #韓国コスメ好きな人と繋がりたい #コスメ好きさんと繋がりたい #コスメ購入品 #韓国美容 #コスメ好きな人と繋がりたい #한국 #korea #seoul #cosmetics #いいね返し #makeup #f4f #l4l

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If you suffer from the occasional cystic, painful, deep, never popping pimple…. These are the fucking BEST!!!!!! They are outfitted with little “needles” (not actual needles, it’s like little pointy edges) that penetrate your spots, allowing the acne medicine to go deeper into the afflicted area. I slap this puppy on right when I feel trouble emerging and seriously it’s better in like a day or two. Reduces redness, size, pain…everything. I would NOT use this on a white head or a more surface level pimple because it can be drying to the area/over kill.

The only annoying thing about Acropass is that I can really only find it on SokoGlam or very occasionally at Riley Rose (in store and online) so it’s smart to have a back stock of these otherwise you’re going to pay that $$$$ overnight shipping.

Mighty Patch

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Did you catch the new sleeves in our Duo? 😉

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BIG fan of Mighty Patch. BIG fan. You can get these in a bunch of sizes and they even sell sheets now so you can cut them yourself if you desire a particular shape. They are soooo thin and invisible you can wear them under makeup if you want or just out alone and people will really have to squint really hard at your face to see where you have one on. They’re not super effective on deep spots, but they WILL work on most things from white heads to like proper pimples that you think will pop by E.O.D.

Starface

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album dropping soon

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Cutest packaging award goes to Starface. Starface was created by Julie Schott aka who I wish I was on Instagram/in life. These little yellow star pimple patches are so friendly looking you can’t help but look forward to getting a spot so you can slap one on. They’re thin and their star shape makes them adhere easily to any contour on your face and stay put. What I REALLY like about these is how hydrating they are. I’ll be honest, they don’t do much in the reducing inflammation department but they will hydrate your spot if you’ve been picking at it or if whatever you’ve been using to combat it is drying you out.

I think they’re super adorable and wear them out into the world. However, both Kate and I have separately done this and different people have told us “Oh…you have a little mustard on your face.”

ANYWAY

If you’ve never tried a pimple patch before and you have acne (or a spot), consider it. They’re way better looking than that gross clay stuff that’s supposed to dry it out but never works. Promise.

xx

Celebrities I Would Have a Full-Scale Meltdown Over If They Unfollowed Me

Maybe you know (or maybe you have a life) but Billie Eilish unfollowed YouTuber Tana Mongeau on Instagram and it ruined her existence day.

She even made a vlog about it.

I don’t know anything about Mongeau other than the fact that I think she got married to one of the Paul brothers (the one who didn’t take a video of a dead body). However, I respect the level of extra she is being over this unfollow.

Billie Eilish is a queen. Unfollowing Mongeau is like revoking her stamp of approval. She is officially no longer “cool” by music prodigy/baggy clothes wearing/green haired, William Eyelash’s standards.

Damn. That must feel cold ASF.

Luckily, there are really only a few celebs I would lose my lunch over if they unfollowed me.

***Please note, none of these people currently follow me (and probably never will!)****

Chrissy Teigen

Chrissy unfollowing me would be a deep personal burn I would never heal from. I feel like we like/talk about a lot of the same things??? Don’t reject me Chrissy! We have the same face shape and I use your pics for hair inspo!!!

Luna Stephens

She doesn’t have an Instagram because she’s 3 years old but IF SHE DID (or in the future) if she ever followed and then UNFOLLOWED me, I would throw myself off a cliff. She is my favorite celebrity baby!!!!

North West

This is a personal rejection I would not be able to face.

Rihanna

People would have to hide sharp objects from me if this happened.

Martha Stewart

Honestly, I would understand if she unfollowed me. She’s such a fucking queen. But if she unfollowed me it would disappoint my mom and my grandma a lot lol.

Diane Keaton

Genuinely love her social media presence and would cry if she and her multiple layers of black and white clothing and accessories clicked “unfollow.”

Harry Styles

Let’s be real, him FOLLOWING me would send me into a tailspin.

Jimmi Simpson

Hahahaaahahahahhahah

 

 

 

My Office Job Made Me Lose Interest in Making Breakfast

When I worked from home, eating breakfast was an event.

I would fry eggs while I dialed into the morning editorial meeting. It wasn’t uncommon for me to leisurely munch on avocado toast topped with tomatoes while editing something from a freelancer. But now I work in an office.

Whereas before, I had time to throw a bunch of fruit and mylks into a blender, now I have about 10 minutes to eat, brush my teeth, paint on a face and rip off my pajamas in favor of real pants.

I’ve trained myself not to get hungry until 8:45 A.M. when I’m in my car, one exit away from work.

In the shuffle (or in the interest of more sleep), I’ve completely lost breakfast.

My morning scrambles have turned into to-go iced coffees and at best a gluten free muffin or a Kreation juice. By 11 a.m. I am both starving and increasingly broke. Oat milk is an extra dollar! An extra shot is $2! (And of course, I need it.)

It’s not that I don’t WANT to eat breakfast. I do. But in the grand scheme of thing a.k.a arriving at work on time and with clean clothing on my body, I’ve stopped making it a priority.

Ideally, I’d love to save money and eat food from home or even AT home. But losing sleep just so I can butter a piece of toast and shove it down my gullet hardly seems like a realistic option.

Yes, I see people eating breakfast AT work but the thought of having a bowl of cereal at my desk sounds revolting. I don’t want to microwave a frozen breakfast burrito because frankly–they smell like farts.

My office practices a weekly bagel Friday but I view the communal cream cheese as a breeding ground for bacteria. PLUS, I don’t think dairy (cream cheese) is meant to sit unrefrigerated on a conference table for that long.

Meal prep comes to mind, but that always leads to some sort of Pinterest disaster and besides, I find overnight oats to be gross and gruel-like.

SO WHAT THE HECK DO I DO?

Don’t suggest yogurt. I only like to eat that if it’s covered in fruit and honey. I’d like to eat something nutritionally beneficial or at the very least, something besides a bagel.

I’d even settle for a filling (and tasty) green smoothie!

I miss breakfast and I want to become a breakfast girl again.

After all, it is the most important meal of the day.

*Cue “Making Breakfast” by Twin Peaks*

Help me out and LMK in the comments below.

xo