I Deleted The Facebook Account I’ve Had For Over Half My Life

When I joined Facebook in 2007, I was 13. I was in the 8th grade.

This was back when someone attending high school or college had to approve your entry. I have no idea when they stopped doing that, but it was a real thing that you used to have to do. I had a friend in 9th grade who approved me.

I don’t really remember why I wanted to join Facebook, I already had a Myspace. But I joined it.

14 years later (a.k.a February 19 at 12:40 P.M. today), I deleted it.

I am currently sitting here, sorting through my anxiety feelings.

It’s not like I ever go on it. I probably haven’t been an “avid” Facebook user since I posted all those photos from my senior year study abroad. I mostly use Facebook to log in to the Shake Shack app and Spotify. Facebook is how I confirm that someone got married or died or how I find dining room furniture at a discount price. It’s where your elderly relatives wish you happy birthday. It’s not Instagram (even though Facebook owns IG). I haven’t posted a photo of myself to Facebook since 2017.

But I have had Facebook in my life longer than I have without it. It’s a place where photos of me in braces exist, photos where I am wearing a sequined shirt and singing with my fellow sparkly show choir friends. Facebook is where you can find the first photos of me in my navy and tan high school uniform, awkward photos of me performing on cheer squad and oh my god “group bonding” on Kairos.

My Facebook is a graveyard for statuses that in hind-sight were so unbelievably cringe-y, I am going to need a medical professional to come over and lower my shoulders. My Facebook is an archive of messages and posts to friends and crushes that make me wish I could go back in time and teach little me about boundaries!

I made groups like “Spring Awakening Runs My Life” and “I Want All The Jonas Brothers To Lick Me” because I thought Facebook groups were just like Neopets guilds—which holy shit, I hope my Neopets account isn’t still online.

To be totally honest, my Facebook account is also a place with a lot of fucking trauma.

For me, my account holds the memory of my high school sexual assault and its social aftermath. Feeling incredibly lonely, trying to lose myself in a community of other weird girls online, getting mean messages, feeling like I never fit in, etc… When I look at this godforsaken social media site I think about all the people who have tried to “friend” me over the years for one reason or another and sometimes I feel rage. How dare you find me. How dare you request to be my friend?? Don’t you remember what you said and did? Followed by gaslighting myself about my own feelings. “It’s just Facebook! Who cares!”

We all exist so easily, almost thoughtlessly online. For whatever reason, the accessibility (that I have allowed) has been feeling like a giant F U to myself for a long, long time.

And I get it, I’m on Instagram. I’m on TikTok. I only recently deleted Twitter. But I have the ability to curate and share (and honestly just protect) what’s new without having the weight of 2,000 photos and posts from the 11th grade behind it. Maybe I would feel differently had it been a positive experience. But, it wasn’t and it will never be!

And that’s actually fine.

By deleting Facebook I have lost hundreds of black and white and sepia high school MacBook photo booth pics, Winter Formal shots from the year I dyed my hair brown (don’t worry I still have physical copies if you really want to see), pieces of Facebook Flair, messages with my friend Becca who died, the ability to list myself as “single” or “in a relationship” and have my followers react to it, any idea of what my fourth cousin twice-removed’s baby looks like or will look like in the future and also probably the easiest way to log in to my Everlane account.

But it’s all worth it, because I also feel pretty fucking free.

I am letting go of something that no longer serves me.

I wish that I could have made this post about how Facebook is evil and stealing my privacy or something. But I have already uploaded multiple photos of myself to that one app that makes you look like a boy or old. Plus, I think I might have shared my social security number on Neopets many years ago.

So unfortunately for you, this is just about me, breaking the link on an invisible chain that has been causing me mental anguish for no reason other than, it just has. For a while.

If you’ve been thinking of deleting, I say do it! It takes about 30 seconds of your life. It might be a little scary at first or it might feel like nothing. Maybe it will feel like both.

I FULLY RECOGNIZE THAT SOME PEOPLE READING THIS CAN’T QUIT FACEBOOK BECAUSE OF THEIR JOB.

BUT THIS IS NOT ME TELLING YOU THAT YOU SHOULD DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT!

THIS IS ALSO NOT ME TELLING YOU NOT TO LIKE FACEBOOK.

LIKE IT! LOVE IT! MARRY IT!

I am not even saying that social media is evil. I love social media!

I put this out here because I DO have a need to chronicle my tiny existence. Who knows! Maybe in another 14 years this will seem deeply embarrassing and I will delete it and write a piece about how my blog was full of trauma and embarrassing twenties-something stuff for Mars Magazine (this is assuming we all move to Mars at some point).

But I am also putting this out there on the off chance that maybe someone can relate. Maybe you already deleted for a similar reason and you read this and you feel validated for your choices. Or you want to delete but you’re worried about what it’s going to be like and you want to see if I have dissolved into nothingness because of it.

Well.

Right now, it is 2:35 P.M.

I told my boyfriend I deleted and he seemed surprised but not shocked. I did not fall off the face of the Earth. My grandpa’s cousin who wishes me Happy Birthday every year on Facebook stills knows that I exist. In the past two hours I have not had the burning need to access those high school rally pics I took in 2009. I still feel a little anxious, but that’s because I’m never totally not.

So don’t worry. There is life after Facebook.

Plus, you can still find me on Instagram!

Unless you’re blocked.

xx

L

A Saturday Link Pack (Because Why Not?)

Hello from gloomy LA, where it has been raining since 9 a.m.

Since waking, I have consumed two Dunkin’ donuts and an iced toasted-almond triple-shot almond milk latte. So, my body is 97% sugar.

That means I am in the mood to shop!

Since we can’t go anywhere or do anything (it is day 327 of the pandemic), I am putting this sugar-high to good use by building you an awesome link pack!!

Today’s pack will be full of things to buy, stories to read, recipes to try? (I am so tired of cooking), TikToks, podcast recs, random chit….I don’t even know. I am just typing out an intro.

After this goes live, I will now have posted 2 shopping pieces in a row. Is that too many? Do you hate it? Do you love it?

Lmk (also idc!!!!)

Enjoy!

Have you been watching Bling Empire on Netflix? It’s so good. If you’re as entranced by Anna Shay as I am, read this Town & Country profile on her life. She once managed a Salsa band and literally learned what a Target store is 2 years ago!!!

Speaking of Tarjayyyy, I wore a very 90’s sweater on my Instagram story yesterday and got a bunch of DMs about it. It’s from Target!

This is my new favorite beauty/skincare podcast. It’s called Natch Beaut. Start with the Caroline Moss (of my other fave pod, Gee, Thanks! Just Bought It) episode for a lot of laughs and some good cruelty-free product recs. Listen here.

One of the recs was for Chemist Confessions. This skincare brand is owned by two WOC chemists, who both used to work for “a beauty conglomerate”  (idk which one but 👀 👀 👀). They are now focused on making products that are transparent about ingredients and how those ingredients work on your skin. I am trying their Baby Steps Exfoliation Treatment and I ordered a sample pack of their moisturizers (which cost $0!).

I don’t want to rub my face the wrong way (aka try too many exfoliants at once), but this influencer I follow is using the new NudeStix micro-peel and it looks so pretty in her medicine cabinet. Very MILK vegan moisturizer neon packaging vibes. It also has really good reviews AND it’s cruelty-free.

Selena, Selena, SELENA! If you are my friend IRL, then you know I feel like Selena Gomez might be my wife. I love her. I don’t know why it took me so long to start trying products from her beauty line, Rare Beauty. Rare Beauty’s Stay Vulnerable Melting Cream Blush is EVERYTHING. Like noah fence, but I might be throwing away my Glossier? The color of these cream blushes is a lot softer than her previously released Soft Pinch Liquid Blush, and the application is apply-with-your-fingers-fool-proof. Plus, it’s cruelty-free! Are you sensing a theme? I own the shade “Nearly Apricot” but when my next paycheck hits, I have my eye on “Nearly Mauve.”

I really want some new bed sheets. I love these rose quartz-colored ones from Urban Outfitters. Of course, Amazon has a much cheaper dupe. Would love to give my precious coins to a brand that deserves it, so if you know of any more sustainable beddings brands HMU.

Why am I so into this chunky-knit blanket?? I’ve also been obsessed with this tufted throw forever and now UO is selling it in a very cool Chartreuse. Or is green over with in 2021?

This is your reminder to go for walks outside (with a mask on), drink lots of water, do yoga at home after work, and take breaks from screens!!

Can I convince my boyfriend to order pizza for dinner? Dan if you are reading this pls don’t say no.

These are my new favorite Uggs.

Find me riding out the rest of the pandemic this summer here… or here…. or maybe even here (if I suddenly become very rich).

MARK YOUR CALS FOR FEB. 12!! NADIYA BAKES!! PEAK COZY BAKING SHOW GOODNESS!

These super high-rise Everlane jeans will give you an amazing butt (even if you don’t have one). They run a teense big. I sized down.

Chicago is doing indoor-dining again and that scares the fuck out of me tbh!

This TikTok compilation of the best Olivia-Joshua-Sabrina tweets is very LOL for those who know the drama.

Can’t sleep? These are the best melatonin gummies. You can find them at Target. I would eat them by the fistful if they weren’t designed to make me pass out.

Speaking of crashing, I feel the sugar leaving my body. Gonna go hydrate with a bunch of water. If you liked my link pack, bought anything, have comments, questions or concerns, LMK on Instagram. Send me a DM. Put it on your story. At least give me a follow!!

xo

The Best Things I Have Purchased At Erewhon

Erewhon is a grocery store in Los Angeles for crazy people. Not just crazy people, crazy rich people. Sometimes I delude myself into thinking that I can shop there. These are some of my favorite purchases!

All of the Juices

I am a juice girl. Please say nothing to me about the sugar content of juice. I am ignoring you. I am too busy turning my tongue green, chugging a concoction of chard, dandelion, cucumber and moss. I love drinks that taste like dirt. I also love drinks that taste like citrus. Erewhon has all of that! And more (check out their Strawberry almond milk. Omg so good)! If you ever go to Erewhon, buy a juice. You will be like “$9??? For this??” Yes. For that.

You came here! Now pay the troll toll.

Erewhon Hand Sanitizer

THIS SMELLS SO F*CKING GOOD. As someone with a hand sanitizer for my entry way, purse, and car, I need a variety of scents. Otherwise, all I smell is Purell-alcohol and I feel sick. This is my favorite hand sanitizer for the car (I also keep like 3 Kreation sanitizers stashed in there as well, but tbh those smell like ass). Erewhon’s sanitizer smells like sandalwood and lavender and lemon and probably Kourtney Kardashian (notorious Erewhon shopper).

It by no means replaces hand washing— it’s not even my hand sanitizer with the highest alcohol content! But it is the nicest, best-smelling way to remind myself that everything is germ-y and terrifying and that I should not touch my face. Plus, it makes my car smell so good after I’ve sprayed.

Zab’s Hot Sauce St. Augustine Style

Okay, so I originally saw this hot sauce on an influencer’s IG story (itsmetinx), but I trust her taste in pretty much everything. First of all, the bottle is so cute. I love the little fire-breathing blue dog(?) (fox?) on it. It’s described as having a slow-burning heat, but the hot sauce itself is vaguely fruity, with a little bit of spice. I like to use this on rice and beans, avocado, chicken, sweet potatoes, etc, for a little bit of sweet heat.

Wylde One Yoga in a Cup

I had a really strong Four Sigmatic phase, and I still gravitate toward anything made with mushrooms. Yoga in a Cup is a blend of chill-inducing reishi mushrooms and Ashwagandha. It tastes a bit like chai tea, especially when you mix it with a little almond or oat milk. As someone who has tried many mushroom elixirs, this one makes me feel the most mellow. I recommend sipping on some while you take a candle-lit bath or watch TV.

Deux Enhanced Cookie Dough

You’re either a person who wishes they could eat cookie dough with a spoon, or you’re not. If you’re not, please get off my site. I don’t need that kind of negativity here. This vegan, gluten-free, immunity or beauty-boosting (depending on what flavor you pick) dessert is…..perfection? It tastes like luxury. It’s a PMS cure. My personal fave is the chocolate chip flavor but the brownie batter is also divine. Why can’t all my immunity/collagen/protein ish be given to me in cookie dough form???

Matzo Ball Soup

All of Erewhon’s soups are good, but if you like and regularly enjoy matzo ball soup, then you know the struggle of finding good supermarket MBS (matzo ball soup) is hard. Is Erewhon’s like your Bubbe makes? No. But it is a revelation!!! The matzo balls are light and herby. The broth is as drinkable as your favorite tea. There are BIG chunks of juicy chicken, vibrant carrot and celery in there! Where Gelson’s and Bristol Farms MBS fails, Erewhon EXCEEDS. These soups come in mason jars and my favorite thing that I have ever done is turn my Erewhon soup jug into an iced coffee …jug? cup? I never have to make a second coffee this way. It holds so much.

Joolies

If you like dates and don’t want to risk getting Covid at a farmer’s market, buy these. Put them in a salad. Put them in a smoothie. Eat them as a snack. Trust me. You’re welcome.

Iwon Organics Spicy Sweet Pepper Protein Stix

Apparently, Hot Cheetos are bad for you. I know, I was shocked too. But now I am on the hunt for a spicy, crunchy snack dupe. I love my Cheetys. Not because of their cheese-factor but because they are spicy and I like it when my mouth gets a little numb. These are nicely spiced! Not to mention non-GMO, soy-free, gluten-free, vegan and made with plant-based ingredients. However, they do not turn your fingers that lovely shade of red-orange.

I really like these but I am still on the hunt for something that really makes my mouth sweat. (Gross!)

Health Essential Candle Frankincense-Myrrh Luxury Glass

There is something truly unhinged about being in a grocery store and seeing an 8 ounce candle that retails for $23.99 and deciding, I’m going to get that! But let me tell you, IT IS WORTH IT. Is it a financially smart decision? No. But is shopping at Erewhon a financially smart decision anyway? Also probably no!!! Some days demand expensive candles (a lie I am telling myself and you, sorry) because you feel like the world is burning and the only thing you can control is what scent you want your bedroom to be.

This candle smells like a very expensive mom. Imagine you are the small child of wealthy parents, and you’re living in a mansion. You have wandered away from your nanny to go hide in to your mother’s walk-in closet. You are letting the sleeves of her cashmere sweaters tickle your face as you hide behind them. The cool silk of her skirts is brushing lightly against your knees. It smells like safety. It smells like fancy lady perfume. That is this candle!!!!!!!

Honorable Mention: The Salad and Hot Bar/Prepared Foods

I mean technically it’s not a salad or hot bar anymore because you can’t serve yourself. However, they offer a bunch of salads and hot food options pre-packed in individual servings, that were once a part of their salad and hot bar. My faves are their asian chicken salad, macrobiotic salad (which is less salad and more vegetables and rice and beans) and their kelp noodle salad. V good chicken, falafel, salmon and veggie sides.

Skip the sushi. It’s eh.

xo

Things I’ve Been Doing Instead of Drinking

I’m just going to start by saying, I really want a glass of wine right now.

I’ve paused Real Housewives of Salt Lake City to write this (because inspiration rarely strikes at convenient times), and normally I would be watching all the drama go down accompanied by a nice glass of red (or white) (or rosé).

But no.

I am doing Dry January, which I sometimes also call “Dryanuary.”

Never has the urge to drink in daily life been stronger. We are living through a global pandemic, a bunch of fuckwits stormed the Capitol, Harry Styles is dating Olivia Wilde, Tr*mp was impeached again, Armie Hammer wants to eat people, we still have to do our jobs, I haven’t had eye lash extensions since last March, every single restaurant we know and love is closing for good, I haven’t seen my friend group since last year and I think they all probably hate me because of it, I can’t stop crying because of that song “drivers license” AND I missed a dental appointment so they are billing me $125!

I!

WANT!

A!

DRINK!

But,,,,, if I am being honest with myself, and with you — mom, the only person who still reads this site anymore — I was drinking more often than I liked.

I would like to note that in pre-pandemic life, drinking was also a social activity. Rarely did I drink alone.

I miss cozying up between friends and strangers at the bar, gabbing about work, ordering apps, bonding hard over a second glass of something. I miss everyone in various stages of hair and makeup while the most ready person fixes drinks. I miss getting a little buzz and hitting the dance floor.

I really fucking miss blasting Taylor Swift in my ear pods, drunk in the Uber and on the way home.

During pandemic life, I live with my boyfriend so if I am not drinking with him then I am drinking alone.

Drinking by yourself is fun if you’re in the bath or cooking dinner. I have found that it is less fun when you are doom scrolling through Twitter or seeing photos of people on Instagram in M*GA hats, wearing shirts that say “6 MILLION MORE.”

So new year new me, even though I haven’t had a hair cut in ages.

No drinking. Also I deleted my Twitter.

So what have I been doing for the past 14 days? LET ME TELL YOU!!!!!!

I have been drinking a lot of tea and non-alcoholic kombucha. Tea is nice because it makes you feel cozy and sleepy. Kombucha is nice, because it tastes like juice and it is especially nice to drink when it is icy cold.

I have been working out. I started doing Blogilates routines because this influencer that I follow did Blogilates last year and she had the most amazing butt.

I have had discussions with people — both negative and positive — about Dryanuary. I have found that some people who typically don’t drink, like to use your month-long resolution as an excuse to remind you that they aren’t like you and that they don’t feel the need to do this. It has been an opportunity to both practice and lose your patience!

I have also had some encouraging conversations too.

I have been on walks. I have taken baths. I have tried reading books. I cooked more meals. I online shopped. I called my parents. I called my therapist. I have been doing yoga for my upper back and I have read through all my old text messages, even the ones that cause me to hurt.

And to be honest, I don’t feel that different. I still have anxiety. I still have depression. I still have OCD. I still feel like whyyyyyy is this happening? But I didn’t expect to quit drinking and have everything magically change for me.

This is/was an exercise in breaking a bad habit for me. It was never about making a permanent change. Like most of us who resolve to do better because the Earth has successfully completed another spin around the sun, I wanted to kick off the first day, week, month in way that inspired future physical and mental health.

It has only been two weeks but my face feels less puffy and I am sleeping better — both things I will remember once January fades into whatever the hell we are headed towards.

But I don’t feel mentally amazing. And how could I expect to? I am thankful for so many things in my life, but the world (especially America rn) pretty much sucks! It’s not like drinking ever deluded me into think it wouldn’t, or that it could ever stop the pain of being robbed of an entire year of life.

Maybe one day I will quit drinking totally. I probably should, this audio book about alcoholism that I am listening to is scaring the crap out of me. Plus, because I drink for pleasure I like to drink things that taste nice and those things tend to be a little $$.

But until then, I will continue to have tea, paint my nails, call my mom, water my plants, take self-inventory of my feelings and try to enjoy the rest of this month (where I have spent all my money on $$ health snacks).

When it’s over, maybe I’ll celebrate with a kombucha.

xo

LL

The Zodiac Signs As Quarantine Snacks

Did I do this already? I don’t remember. Doing it again!

ARIES

Iced Coffee

You love to start your day by absolutely ruining your empty stomach with a large iced coffee. Then, when it’s well past lunch and you still haven’t eaten, you get a second one!

TAURUS

Leftover holiday candy

You survived off of mini-Snickers bars and packets of M&M’s from Halloween to Dec. 1. Thankfully, your Reeses cups don’t taste too much like the Lush bath bombs your mom put in your Christmas stocking.

GEMINI

Any Kind of Chips

You love that CRONCH!! Potato, tortilla, even pita. Just be sure to brush those crumbs out of your bed in between episodes of Bridgerton.

CANCER

Microwave Quesadilla

Every quarantine snack pretty much doubles as a depression meal, but nothing says I HAVE GIVEN UP ON MY LIFE PLEASE LET ME SLEEP FOREVER quite like a nuked tortilla with a few slices of Kraft American cheese.

LEO

Bell Peppers + Cream Cheese + Hot Cheetos/Takis

You’ve been watching a lot of TikTok and this seemed like a fun snack to try. Now you’re really into ALL TikTok snacks, but you can’t bring yourself to try those TikTok egg salad pickle-boats just yet (thank god).

VIRGO

Charcuterie Board

No one has any control right now, but at least you do over this charcuterie board. Make a salami river! Cookie cutter a fun shape into your brie! We’re all gonna die.

LIBRA

Apple Sauce/Yogurt Pouches for Babies

We get it. You’re baby.

SCORPIO

Gabagool

Whether you are Tony Soprano or someone who took a trip to Gelson’s for hummus and left with a lot of expensive food items you didn’t really need, it is powerful to eat loose cured-meats. You can’t tell me otherwise.

SAGITTARIUS

Expensive Cookies Your Roommate Bought

Okay, THIEF!!! The next gluten-free double-chocolate chip Tate’s box is on you, I guess.

CAPRICORN

Alcohol

Drunk since March, drunker in September and now DRUNKEST in 2021! Maybe you can get a Cancer to make you a microwaved quesadilla to soak some of that up.

AQAURIUS

Fruit With Alternative Nut Butters

Isn’t it nice that someone has a nutritious coping mechanism??? You go for apples, bananas, persimmons, dates, figs, etc… all with almond, cashew, sunflower, whatever the fuck else butter!! You’re getting some good protein and fiber god damnit!

PISCES

Ice Cream

At least you’re more upfront about your need for comfort food than a lot of these other signs. Good thing it’s never too cold for ice cream — especially when you’re parked in front of your space heater.

How to Make Eggs

I recently watched a TikTok where a girl was sobbing about how “it” never ends. She panned to piles of dirty laundry and a sink full of dishes.

The video was duet-ed by a woman who explained that “care” never ends. You will always have laundry to do, dishes to clean, bookshelves to dust, etc. She explained that your level of “care” fluctuates, depending on what you have going on in your life.

A really important “care” thing for me is knowing how to make food. Sure, sometimes care looks like Postmating Thai food, but the need to nourish your body never ends and money does (otherwise I would be ordering Thai food for every meal for the rest of my life). That’s where cooking comes in.

I didn’t realize how few of my friends knew how to boil or fry an egg until quarantine began. Please believe me when I tell you that I had three different people text me about this.

A desire to learn is worthy of applause, as is a desire to care for oneself.

If you are a person with access to a kitchen with a stove, have a frying pan and a small pot, and want to learn to cook eggs for yourself but never learned how, THIS IS FOR YOU!!!

I promise, this is all easy as hell. Even if you’ve never done it before.

Plus, you’re not just learning how to hard boil an egg, you’re half of the way to making egg salad or a breakfast sandwich or a pasta topping.

HOW TO MAKE A HARD BOILED EGG

There are two ways of doing this, but I’m going to teach you the way my grandma taught me, which I think is the easiest. You will need a pot, so something with tall sides that can hold a lot of water, a spoon, some water and then as many eggs as you want to make.

  1. Fill a small pot with water and set it on a stove burner at a high heat.
  2. Bring your pot of water to a boil on the stove. You will know it is boiling when the water is bubbling.
  3. Take your spoon and gently put an egg on it and place the egg into the boiling water. Do this GENTLY. You’re trying not to crack the egg.
  4. Take the spoon out
  5. Set a timer on your phone for 8 minutes (if you like your egg yolk to be a little runny) or 9 minutes (for a firmer egg).
  6. DO NOT TOUCH THE WATER LET IT KEEP BOILING
  7. When the timer goes off, TURN OFF THE WATER.
  8. Take your spoon and scoop the egg out of the pot. You can either leave it on the counter to cool or run it under cold sink water (while it balances on the spoon) until it is cool enough to touch.
  9. When it is cool enough, you can peel the shell off the egg. My best advice for peeling the shell off is to 1. GET A PAPER TOWEL. 2. Put the egg on the paper towel. 3. Gently crush the egg with your palm (don’t flatten it so it explodes. Be gentle!), rolling it back and forth a little until cracks form all over. Then peel all the crunchy part off.
  10. Throw your shell away. I recommend pouring a little salt and pepper on your plate and dipping your egg into the mixture for a lil flavor.

WANT TO TURN YOUR HARD BOILED EGGS INTO EGG SALAD?

Boil and peel 4 eggs (assuming you’re making egg salad for 1 person. If you’re making it for two, I would double the amount of everything). Cut the eggs up on a plate or cutting board. It doesn’t really matter how. You could also put them all into a bowl and mash them. You do you. But you’re going to need to combine your eggs in a bowl anyway, with some mayo (I would recommend about 1/4 cup but you can eyeball it), about 1 squirt of yellow mustard, chopped up green onion, pepper, salt and paprika. Mix it all up with a fork. Voila! You just made egg salad. Put it on some toasted bread or eat it with peppers and pickles if you’re a TikToker.

HOW TO MAKE SCRAMBLED EGGS

My boyfriend is practically a genius, so when we started living together I was stunned to discover that he doesn’t know how to make scrambled eggs.

That, or he is completely pulling my leg and doesn’t want to make breakfast.

There are many different ways to make scrambled eggs. However, you don’t need to do it the fancy French way, or add milk or a ton of butter. All you need is two eggs (three if you’re really hungry), a small bowl, 1 fork, a frying pan, a wooden spoon or spatula and some sort of fat, like butter or olive oil.

  1. Crack your eggs into a small bowl. If you get eggshell in there, take one of the halves of the already broken shell and fish out the tiny piece that got way. Shell attracts shell. My grandma taught me that and it is probably the best piece of advice I have ever been given.
  2. Take your fork and stab the yellow yolks until they don’t look like perfect circles anymore. Then, mix the eggs together. You should be left with a yellow-y mixture.
  3. Set the bowl aside.
  4. Take your pan and set it on a stove burner. Turn the burner to medium-high heat.
  5. Let the pan get hot. You’ll know it’s hot (DON’T TOUCH IT) when you hold your hand over it, and you can feel the heat.
  6. Turn the heat down to low.
  7. Throw some butter or olive oil in there. Not a lot. If you want to use a measurement I would say 1/2 a teaspoon of olive oil or if you’re using butter, I would say use about as much as you would typically spread on toast.
  8. Spread it around the pan with your wooden spoon.
  9. Pour your egg mixture into the pan.
  10. LET IT SIT FOR ABOUT 30 SECONDS.
  11. Then take your wooden spoon and make small circles. You don’t want the egg to cook in one solid circle, you’re trying to make curds by breaking them up.
  12. You will know your eggs are done when there are no longer any sort of mucus-y looking parts to it. If you are like my boyfriend and you can’t be bothered to pay attention to what that means, I would say about two minutes.
  13. Serve immediately

WANT TO MAKE BREAKFAST TACOS?

*I am in no way claiming that this is the way to make authentic tacos. It is definitely not!!*

You’re going to need any tortillas of your choice. They don’t even have to be taco-sized, you could also make this a breakfast burrito or roll-up. You’ll need cheddar cheese and hot sauce. Assuming you just made the scrambled eggs, take a clean frying pan and put it on the burner at low heat. Put your tortilla in the pan. While your tortilla heats up, sprinkle it with cheddar cheese. Wait for it to melt. If you’re feeling fancy, this is when you can add things like tomatoes, onions, jalapeños, beans, meat, etc… Then dump your scrambled eggs on top and let them get a little warmer (they likely will have cooled). Remove taco from frying pan, top with hot sauce!

HOW TO FRY AN EGG (THIS IS THE LAST ONE I PROMISE)

You’ll need an egg, a frying pan, a spatula and some sort of fat like olive oil or butter.

  1. Put your frying pan on a stove burner at high heat. Let it get hot. You’ll know it’s hot (DON’T TOUCH IT) when you hold your hand over it, and you can feel the heat.
  2. Put about a tablespoon of olive oil or butter into the pan. Can’t be bothered to measure? Cut off a big hunk of butter or make a small pool olive oil. Let the butter melt (or just leave the olive oil alone in the pan).
  3. This part is the trickiest part IMO. You need to crack the egg and put it in the pan. The simplest way to do this is to crack the egg against the pan and dump in its contents. If you are afraid of getting burned or of leaving shell in there by mistake, get a small bowl and crack the egg into there instead. Then dump the egg from the bowl into the frying pan.
  4. Yes, the oil/butter will make scary noises while it cooks the egg. Get over it tbh.
  5. You will know when one side is done because the outer edges of the egg will start to brown and turn crispy.
  6. Take your spatula and slide it under the egg. You are going to flip the egg. Yes, you can do this. There is no way to fuck it up other than to chuck the egg on the floor. Focus!! Flip the egg over so the other side can cook!!!
  7. Wow you did it.
  8. Let it sit there are like….2 to 2 1/2 minutes. Do a little longer (3 min) for a firmer yolk.
  9. TURN THE HEAT OFF.
  10. Take your spatula and take the egg out of the pan!!!! Now you can add this fried egg to a piece of toast, bowl of pasta, rice or something!!!

I don’t really have another recipe for you with this. My only advice, is that everything tastes better with a fried egg on it. Try it on pasta, pizza, a grain bowl, on some fried rice, avocado toast… honestly the sky is the limit with this one. My favorite way to eat a fried egg rn is between two halves of an english muffin with some cheddar cheese and hot sauce mmmmmmm.

ANYWAY

If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. If you want to learn how to make other basic things, LMK. I can also teach you how to make harder things. Idk. I’m here!! Caring never stops! And that is okay. We can do this together.

Lately Snack Break: St. End

“Snack Break” is Lately’s interview series where we chat with people we think are interesting, for about as long as it takes you to finish your afternoon snack. Our second in the series is with St. End founder and friend of Lately, Erin Gabriel….who for the longest time, I thought was named Erin Gabe.

Erin is an internet cool girl with a natural eye for design that would make Alexa Chung blush.

The florist by-day, jewelry designer by-night is the sole force behind the accessory brand St. End, named for the latter half of your childhood “BEST FRIEND” necklace.

Whether you’re looking to rock a cow-print hair barrette, give your kid sister a beaded bracelet that says “Paul Rudd” or want to elevate your outfit with a pair of glow in the dark flower earrings, Gab(ri)e(l) is your girl.

Her brand St. End is full of bold colors, dreamy shapes and original ideas that turn your ears, wrists, and hair, into a full-on party.

You just always seem to know what looks good. Where do you think that comes from? Do you have any inspirations?

EG: First of all, thank you! I would accredit my Aquarius-ness for always having my finger on the pulse of any new style trends; it’s important for me to stay on top of the curve, or try at least. 

I also think growing up with a mother that was constantly repainting, redecorating, and tweaking the style of our home played a huge role in how attuned I am to design. She and I have always been keen on DIY projects for home decor and fashion, so I think that translates into my inspiration for starting St. End. 

So your DIY spirit is what drew you to making jewelry?

EG: I have been making my own jewelry since I was little and got my first pair of jewelry pliers and a tackle box full of beads. In high school when I couldn’t find accessories that were to my liking, I would buy cheap costume jewelry from Forever21 and reconstruct [them] to add charms or rhinestones or beads, until I had a piece of jewelry that was totally unique to me.

I used to make bracelets out of zippers and vintage beads my Grandma gifted me and sold them at art fairs. I guess I’ve always been a jewelry entrepreneur lol.

You’re so creative! You’ve made earrings in the shape of gummy worms, tombstones, bananas, mushrooms and butterfly wings! Where do you get your ideas from?

EG: When I’m designing pieces, I start by sketching ideas for shapes if I plan on working with polymer clay. This then leads to a big trial and error process where I see what color and shape combinations I like. I also use Pinterest and IG for inspiration. 

You also give your pieces these insanely good pun-based names. Where do those come from?

EG: I keep a running list of names I like or think are clever and usually end up texting my friends to see what they like best. Niche references are a big part of the St. End brand.

Your Halloween collection just dropped and it was amazing. What’s next for St. End?

EG: I really hope to get into designing molds for custom metal jewelry. I would love to have custom molds cast into finer materials like sterling silver or 14K gold.

Five years from now, I just hope I’m still designing and creating pieces that are fun and I want to wear! That’s really why I started St. End- to create jewelry that I want! I just got lucky that other people want to wear it, too.

If you could make jewelry for any celeb, who would it be? 

EG: Immediately I thought of Phoebe Bridgers since I recently made a pair of ghost earrings inspired by her Stranger in the Alps album artwork. I think I would cry if she wore a pair of my ghost earrings.

Oh, also AOC. I can picture her wearing a pair of my tiny gold hoops. I think it would be very on brand for her. I just want people to feel cool when they wear my stuff and to know that it was created with so so much love.

Honestly, that’s my favorite part of your brand. You can tell a lot of thought and care went in to every piece. It feels like you’re wearing a little piece of art. For Lately readers who haven’t shopped St. End yet, what are the essential pieces?

EG: Crushed Little Stars, Uptown Pearl, Daisy Dukes, More Cowbell, and a custom Stretchy Bracelet to finish off the look.

You can follow St. End on Instagram at: @st.end_

Have a Cozy-Making Sunday

I am writing this to you from my kitchen table, where I have a lovely view of an aluminum butter wrapper that has flown onto my balcony and out of someone’s trash. Either that or my upstairs neighbors are dumping their garbage out of their window.

I have yet to learn to love life on the east side.

ANYWAY.

I have a face mask on, I’m wearing my gnocchi Uggs, and I’m sipping some re-heated coffee. To add to the major relaxation vibes, Dan has football on (which is serving as my background noise ASMR for the day) and I have lit every single candle in our apartment. It is the late-teens of October and I am extremely dedicated to the spirit of Sunday cozy-making.

While it still may not be cold enough in LA to wear a sweater and I will probably have to say R.I.P. to any plans I had to go to a pumpkin patch this year, here are some things on the internet that are making me feel especially cozy today:

In the spirit of becoming my own favorite Midwestern aunt, it is my duty to inform all of you that this is the last day of Bath & Body Works buy 1, get 1 3-wick candle sale.

This weekend I listened to the Amelia Diamond episode of Gee Thanks, Just Bought It, and it was like spending time with an old friend. Diamond left Man Repeller (now called, Repeller) in 2018 and I have missed her voice/sense of humor ever since.

As soon as I take a leisurely solo trip to the grocery store to buy ingredients, I’ll be baking this apple cider doughnut cake.

Independent book stores really need your help right now. Even if you don’t have time to read (or like to), you definitely have friends and family who do. Consider buying a book, tote bag, or cool crewneck sweater to keep these places open. Here are a few independent book stores that I love: Unabridged Bookstore (Chicago), Women & Children First (Chicago), Skylight Books (Los Angeles), City Lights Bookstore (San Francisco), McNally Jackson (New York).

I got into my friend’s car after months of not seeing her and one of the first things she said to me was “you smell SO good.” I just started wearing this perfume.

I used to hate tomatoes and now I am obsessed with bursting them with olive oil and a little garlic to make pasta sauce. Will probably make some variation of this for dinner this week.

Have you been doing yoga at home? I’ve been really into SarahBethYoga’s videos. Sometimes I take a 15 minute break from work to do this one. I’ve also been looking for a new yoga mat. Anyone have any recs?

Just copped this plaid jacket from Minnesota/North Dakota brand Kittsona. I’m going to have to wait a little until the temps drop to wear it, but when I do I’d love to pair it with something like cozy like this. Mommy blogger fall is the vibe.

Speaking of mommy blogger fall, every year I consider buying this Everlane glove boot. TC if you’re reading this, I need you to peer pressure me into it!!! NO RAGRETS

Hope you’re somewhere cozy, enjoying Great British Baking Show, and drinking mugs of tea.

Love

LL

Things in My Los Angeles Apartment That Just Make Sense

We’re in our new space! I can’t believe I finally left the valley! And that all the people who used to make fun of me for living there have had to move back to Pennsylvania/central Illinois to live with their parents!

Here are some bright spots about our new place:

This candelabra set my boyfriend hates but I think is really cool

He told me they remind him of when Delia Deetz decorates the house with really modern furniture in Beetlejuice. That may have been meant as an insult, but Delia Deetz manically decorating things might just be my overall vibe. Anyway, I love their cool squiggly shape and brassy color. It was actually difficult to find candlesticks that would fit into these mASSIVE holes, but I finally did.

I got both from Urban online: candle holder, candle sticks

A rolling cart

I have already mentioned this rolling cart a few times, but I am obsessed with it. My new kitchen is teeny tiny and I need all the storage space I can get. You can’t really tell in this photo but I am currently using my salad bowl as a fruit bowl. Chic!

If you’re straining your eyes to read what the art above my cart says, don’t. It says “Orange you glad you’re still here despite it all.” It feels appropriate because fruit belongs in the kitchen and because this is an old-ass Los Feliz apartment building, it has had a LOT of issues! Even before we started officially living in it! Also the frame is not off center, you’re just crooked.

Also Tori if you’re reading this, my Always Pan in sage green just shipped.

A lot of plants

Don’t let this photo fool you. My new apartment is basically a little cave. This is one of the ONLY sunny spots for plants. Luckily, these plants aren’t like….sun-obsessed (plant community please don’t come for me if I am wrong).

I am planning on going to my fave plant store in the valley to get some plants for the rest of the apartment that thrive in low-light.

A haphazardly organized bar cart

I really want to make this look cute and it is kind of looking like a disaster! Please HELP! I think I want to put a plant on it? Again, it will need to be something that thrives in lower light. Because of course it does.

However, I do love that this cart solved a lot of my storage issues and that it is cute, even if it is disorganized. Yes, I drink Casamigos AND Trader Joe’s rum. Yes, we exist.

A Larry David pillow

It’s Dan’s. Peep the purple rug below!!

My little bedroom reading nook

After much back-and-forth with my interior designer a.k.a. my friend Erin who has a great eye for design and gave me advice for free, we decided to put this little bench-moment under my bedroom window to make it look purposeful.

You might think this iced coffee and book placement was just for the photo, but I was actually curled up reading before this.!

Also, if anyone has some goo-gone for the leftover sticker bits on my mirror that they could bring me, it would be much appreciated.

A shower curtain that looks like a lot of nipples

When I purchased this curtain online I thought, how sweet! It will add some texture and I love the rosy color. Then I set it up and thought hmmm….looks like nipples. It is definitely more flesh-toned in person, but I still like it a lot. I got it from Amazon, where I also got my cute little peach bath mat. I wanted Urban Outfitters but at “fell off a truck” prices.

bath mat, shower curtain

My shelfie

Honestly, I wanted to show off what skincare I’ve been using. Aside from the mask-ne I’ve been dealing with (one of the many pleasures of the pandemic), my skin has been looking and feeling pretty good. I am especially obsessed with the Rio Viera-Newton-approved double cleansing duo with my Then I Met You Living Cleansing Balm and the Dr. Loretta Gentle Hydrating Cleanser.

Also, I started using Megababe on my pits and now I believe the hype and my armpits smell like flowers. 10/10 recommend.

Anyway, I have more apartment than this. I just can’t show it to you because it’s Dan’s office not fully decorated yet.

I have one very large wall in the bedroom that I am considering hanging some shelves on. Also we might get a new coffee table. HMU with some ideas. You know where to find me.

I’m an east side girl now.

xo

L

Life After Lashes

When I was in college, I genuinely believed that I would die of embarrassment if a boyfriend saw me without makeup. My mother once told me that Dolly Parton’s husband had never seen her without her full glam on, (which, who knows if this is true lol) so I dedicated myself to always carrying around concealer, a lipstick and of course– mascara.

We could go into the patriarchal structures that put me (and my mom and Dolly) here, but that seems time consuming. Instead I will just say, I feel better with it on. Especially on my eyes.

I have lost probably hours of my life — if you were to add up all the time I spent from ages 14 to 24 — curling my lashes and mascara-ing them in whatever waterproof version of “blackest black” I could find.

This is just facts, okay? My natural lashes are stick straight. They barely hold a curl. They are also that sort of nothing-y “bronde” color that was so popular with celebs in 2016. My sister has eyelashes like a camel (please google camel eyelashes to see that this is a compliment). When she wears mascara, she doesn’t look like she has little sticks jutting out of her eyes, she looks like one blink could carry her away.

ENTER LASH EXTENSIONS

The first time I decided to try lash extensions was because of the rapper Kreayshawn. I was following her on Instagram and couldn’t stop noticing her long, fluffy, perfect inky-black lashes. One day, she tagged the salon. I made an appointment a few clicks later.

That was two years ago. TWO. And I haven’t looked back. The times I have had my normal lashes in between then and now have been because I messed up booking appointments or because I ran out of money and had to wait until the next paycheck to get them.

What’s so good about them???? I wake up and I have lashes. I don’t have sushi rice grains, I have fucking curtains. I don’t have to wear mascara ever expect for when I paint some on my very blonde lower lashes. I just get up and go. It’s so easy!

I feel polished when I have them. I feel pretty. I feel confident. I feel like myself.

While I realize it’s not THAT deep, they’re just tiny hairs glued to my even tinier hairs — CUE CORONAVIRUS

I didn’t have time to book a lash appointment before we were all told to social distance and my lash tech stopped working. I knew my days of perfect lashes were numbered so I tried to enjoy them.

Eventually, I had to remove the 4 that remained stuck to my face (jojoba oil on a cotton round, very gently). It was personally very devastating! And tbh I felt like crying a lot! These lashes — although a luxury — feel like a part of my face.

I guess the only way I can make it make sense to you is this: Imagine one day you woke up and someone had shaved off your eyebrows. While there is a chance they won’t grow back, typically they do. So while you know it’s not the end of the world, you still have to adjust to being like HOLY FUCK I HAVE NO EYEBROWS!!!

Sure you can paint them on but wouldn’t you rather have the eyebrows you actually want???? Wouldn’t you feel a little less like yourself when you look in the mirror, because who is that person? And why don’t they have eyebrows???

(I realize that there are people in this world who are also very self conscious about their white blonde eyebrows/lack of brows. I apologize for using this as an example.)

My boyfriend thinks I’m psychotic because of this. He tutted at me when I over-nighted a lash curler and a new mascara from Sephora once my lashes were totally bare.

But this is the reality I am going to have to live in until April 19 (and probably after then because WTF IS GOING ON). I need to become comfortable with my face. I am not even going to pretend I can get to a place of even partial confidence being bare-lashed. So mascara will just have to do.

I haven’t had to apply it or curl my lashes in TWO YEARS. I feel like a newborn. And there are lots of ups and downs. For some reason, the lashes on my left eye lay much more nicely than on my right eye and will all slip easily into the curler. The lashes on my right eye are pieces of shit and like to fuck up my face! It’s fun having sisters who never seem to have met each other, not twins.

I am so so so so lucky and privileged to be healthy and to be able to work from home and to afford groceries and to even complain about this. But honestly, much like every other part of being alive in this 2020 hellscape, it sucks and I’m just going to have to get over it and move on.

I’ve tried to focus on other parts of my face that I like and that’s been nice.

Turns out I quite like my cheeks. My eyebrows aren’t bad either. No one please go and shave them off though. That’ll really throw me.

More later because….what else is there to do?

x