Tag: drink

I Tried Starbucks’ Pumpkin Cream Cold Brew So You Don’t Have To

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I’m basic but I’ve never been PSL basic.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. 

The cloyingly sweet, orange-hued hot seasonal beverage that ushers in autumn earlier and earlier every year, has never been my Buxie (not Starbs or ‘Bux, mind you) drink of choice.

I own a pair of Uggs and multiple Kylie Lip Kits but when it comes to coffee, I’m relatively tame. An iced almond milk (or oat if you have it) latte please. Hot, if it’s below 50 degrees outside.

Black, if I’m hungover.

When I saw that Starbucks had released a seasonal cold brew, my interest was piqued. Cold brew tastes like jet fuel to me (in a fun way) and I wondered how they were going to add pumpkin spiciness to that. I texted my best friend Andrew about it and he told me to “shut my mouth.”

I meditated on the idea of this coffee concoction for a day or so. I talked to other friends about it, none of which had tried it–but suggested I do…for science.

What tipped me over the edge was the fact that Andrew (aforementioned friend) later tried it and LIKED it. Armed with the knowledge that he and I like almost all the same things, I entered Starbucks this morning and ordered one.

First surprise: The drink itself is a light brown color, topped with an orange-y foam that is sprinkled with cinnamon.

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It’s more like a nitro cold brew than an actual cold brew with ice and stuff.

Second surprise: It’s not very sweet. It’s a neutral taste with a hint of pumpkin.

It’s more milky than coffee. I wish it was more coffee-forward. Also, as someone who only drinks alternative milks (LOL THERE IS NO DENYING MY BASIC-NESS IT PERMEATES ME) I am worried about how this will effect my tummy/skin.

Third (not-so) surprise: I don’t like it.

I wish it was sweeter!! Which is weird for me, someone who isn’t huge on sweet coffee drinks. It’s like a pumpkin milk but not in a dessert-y way. That’s the best way to sum it up. I could see this being the milk left behind after a bowl of pumpkin granola. Kind of bland and not nearly as cold as I would like it to be with a smattering of scent and flavor.

1/5 stars. Would not drink it from a cereal bowl or a Buxie cup.

Very glad I only opted for a “tall.”

Venmo me for this quality research…I’ll be grabbing an iced latte to go around noon.

xx

 

 

 

When I Drink Cold Brew I Can…

thelatelyblogLeave a comment

Leap tall buildings in a single bound

Answer all 376 unread emails

Color code my Google Cal like Audrey Gelman

Vibrate into oblivion

Call my gynecologist to schedule an appointment even though they’re really mean there

Devise a plan for dinner

Write entire paragraphs without looking at my screen

Make memes, crush dreams

Schedule Instagram posts for three separate accounts

Run a marathon

Develop facial blindness (like Brad Pitt!)

Text my best friend 100 times in a row about the magic of coffee

Order food to the wrong address

Send a correction email with too many “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Publicly denounce Pete Buttigieg on Twitter

Delete Twitter

Throw my computer into a dumpster

Rip off all my clothing

Dance naked in the street

Remember all the lyrics to every song in “The Greatest Showman”

See through time

Contact dead relatives

Use 100% of my brain

 

 

 

 

 

The Morning Tonic That Makes Me Glow

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Lately LOVES apple cider vinegar. Kate and I have texted about it before for like 15 minutes, just talking about how we take it (shot vs in a mixture), how often, how much, and what it does.

Yes, it smells super strong and on its own kind of tastes like ass. But the BENEFITS!!!

The first time I read about taking ACV (what we shall henceforth be calling apple cider vinegar bc abbrevs are totes amaze) was on The New Potato. I don’t remember who said they take a tablespoon of it every morning–either some Polish model/actress or a writer I really admire–but I was instantly intrigued. She said it made her skin absolutely glow.

So, I started taking shots of ACV in the morning, which I promptly quit after about 4 days. I couldn’t get used to the taste of it on its own and would have to drink like 4 big glasses of water after–which I guess, is another way to make your skin glow–but didn’t feel worth it.

Because I am a person who spends a lot of time reading about health and wellness trends I also tried drinking warm lemon water every morning, which I also quit after a short while because….who wants to drink warm lemon water all the time? I don’t. I think it’s kind of gross.

Then I realized, I could combine the two! And not just combine the two, but improve upon the concoction! So, what I have been doing is putting about a tablespoon and a half of ACV into a mug, adding boiling water and tea bag of my choice (frequently it’s throat coat because I like the taste and also I spend 80% of my day screaming) a generous splash of honey, and a teaspoon of lemon juice.

The whole thing has made me absolutely RADIANT!*

*a lie

But it HAS improved my skin, my gut health, and my immune system. According to Reader’s Digest (where I get alllll my health news) (jk) ACV has serious antibiotic properties which help assist with things like digestion and getting rid of bad bacteria that could be impeding your gut health and/or causing forms of acne. So basically, it makes you *ahem* regular, but it also fights the bad shit that might be wreaking havoc on your skin!

The lemon juice I add is also full of a shit ton (pardon the pun) of Vitamin C which is great for your immune system. It also helps maintain PH levels in your body and makes you pee a lot–which is annoying, especially if you’re hanging out with me–but helps not only to fight toxins, but to flush them out of your body and give a little boost to your renal system.

IMPORTANT: I DO NOT drink this to lose weight/detox/whatever bullshit anything online says like “drink lemon water/ACV and never be hungry again!” That is bullshit. I glow because I take time to nourish myself and give my body fuel. I make this beverage every morning, along with a lARGEEEEE glass of ice cold water, and my breakfast of choice.

I 10/10 highly recommend.

If the ACV taste is too strong you could always reduce it to 1 tbs or 1/2 tbs. Or add more lemon. Or honey! Play with it!

Anyway

Lmk if you try! It’s good.

Ok

bye

ily