Lately Snack Break: The Broke Yolk

“Snack Break” is Lately’s new interview series where we chat with people we think are interesting for about as long as it takes you to finish your work snack. Our first in the series is with The Broke Yolk founder and friend of Lately, Tori Hyndman.

Tori Hyndman is one of the funniest people on the internet.

She’s the creative force behind The Broke Yolk, the most entertaining food and lifestyle blog that you’re not reading yet, but need to be.

Hyndman does it all from suburban food tours to easy recipes to snarky side comments that will have you howling. Her voice is that of your best friend who also knows how to whip up the perfect hash AND make a mean martini. She’s who you want in your kitchen but also who you want in your phone to call when you’ve drunk texted your ex on the way to get 2am pizza.

Yes, The Broke Yolk is part cooking blog and part diary but it’s also 100% “Whatever [Tori] wants it to be goddamnnit.

Lately was lucky enough to ask our longtime internet friend a few questions. Check them out below!

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So, why did you start The Broke Yolk?

TBY: I started The Broke Yolk because I was getting tired of Twitter being the only place I could write/scream into the void. I do some writing at work but I don’t have the ability to drone on about non-dairy milks or deliberately call out the guy who I hooked up with last Halloween. I think I just wanted a new place to talk about food and what I’m cooking. And I wanted to be creative and try my hand at graphic design and work on my website skills. 

Who is inspiring you rn?

TBY: I am a fan of women doing cool things in the food and restaurant space – Molly Yeh makes me want to be happy and bake cakes. Ina Garten makes me feel like I can roast a bird, luxuriate and order custom shirts and not feel bad about it. My mom is a great cook who taught me to use an obscene amount of garlic and I will forever thank her for that. I like Alison Roman’s red-orange nails.

Not Bobby Flay he sucks. 

LOL. I know you’re also obsessed with the Bon Appetit staff. A lot of people on the internet are these days. I sadly am not. Please explain this to me!!

TBY: I am not “obsessed.” I did have an unhealthy crush on a human employed by the magazine and slid into DMs more than once but I have moved on and am better for it.

People love BA, especially the Test Kitchen crew, because the content is centered around beautiful people making delicious food while they hanging out with (what appears to be) their friends. The newer verticals like Basically and Healthyish are doing a good job of meeting Millennials and Gen Z where they are and what they want out of cooking/feeding themselves.

Mostly I think people like BA because the Test Kitchen people are hot and are all individually micro-influencers. Personally, I think they’re all sleeping with each other.

What’s YOUR best cooking advice, Toe?

TBY: Wolfgang Puck told me to learn how to make one thing really well (I didn’t think that was great advice, but it’s my only chance to say that Wolfgang Puck gave me cooking advice, so take it haters).

Okay then to make it more relatable, what’s your worst cooking mistake?

Sometimes I leave the oven/a burner on which is scary I guess because we could die. Other than that, and the time I accidentally dropped all of my ravioli down the garbage disposal when draining the water, I like to roll with the punches.

You currently live in D.C….where are your favorite places to eat?

TBY: Depends on the occasion and who’s buying but I love Le Diplomate. It’s a Steven Starr restaurant (Philly-based restaurateur) so I feel a kinship to my cheesesteak brethren when I eat there. Regardless, everything is so yummy.

Must-gets are the oysters (seafood tower if you’re not paying), the gougères, which are these little airy bread-cheese puffs of heaven, the warm shrimp salad, the mushroom tart, roast chicken, crème brûlée— it’s all so good.

What would your last meal be?

TBY: Probably shake shack

Give me three people (living or dead) that you would love to eat a meal with.

TBY: I always get nervous with these questions because I don’t think I want to eat a meal with three strangers??? I would be so nervous. Picking people I know seems weird unless they are dead relatives or something.

Can I bring a friend? If so, it would be Friend, Mindy Kaling, and BJ Novak because I mostly just want to see how Mindy and BJ vibe in real life. Is there tension? Does he listen or smile when she speaks? I need to know.

I’m not cooking (because what if it’s bad). We can order in some fancy takeout and I’ll bring wine and a dessert from a nice bakery.

I will also make note of how much BJ tips the delivery guy.

I can’t believe I am the friend you are bringing to dinner with Mindy and BJ! Thanks! But if it was just us, where would you take me?

TBY: In D.C. I would take you to this place called Little Sesame for lunch. It’s a yummy hummus shop and it’s so good and decorated all cute. For dinner we could do Compass Rose or Iron Gate for nice ambience and good cocktails. There’s a cool vegan restaurant called Fancy Radish we could go to because I haven’t tried it yet!

You’re on your way to becoming an influencer. What food or beverage brand would you want to sponsor you?

TBY: Eggland’s Best needs a hot young face and I am up for the challenge. 

Let’s say you come out with a cookbook. What are you going to name it?

TBY: Eggs n’ stuff. Cooking with Friends (your anxiety and depression). I’m still brainstorming. 

Also, you are my only friend who makes martinis and I love that about you. Tell me what got you into this?

TBY: My mom is my martini inspiration! [Queen Jag] loves dirty vodka martinis (exclusively Ketel One) and taught me how to make one. I do strictly vodka over gin, extra dirty, and I LOVE a blue cheese stuffed olive.

My mom always says, “no vermouth” when she orders them, but honestly, I can’t tell the difference. You can get buzzed off one drink which makes ‘Tini Time classy and economical!

If the whole internet isn’t  reading The Broke Yolk by now, they SHOULD. What are some things you want your new readers (and old readers I guess) to take away from your posts? Besides laughing at all your incredible asides, of course.

TBY: I want them to learn that you do not need to be cool or hot or good at cooking to make food and have fun with it (I am however all of those things so I see where this can get confusing). I want them to allow themselves to feel feelings and not feel guilty about whatever they’re putting in their mouths (I want to allow myself that too). 

What post should they start with?

TBY: I’ve only been posting for about a year and I’ve only posted like 10 times…but I worked really hard on the one about my hometown’s weird eating spots. It was fun to write when I was hiding from my family at my parent’s house over the holidays and I came out of it with an appreciation for the strange, but also extremely normal, place I grew up.

I also love the Glossary page (does that count as a post?) because I say wild things and I want to continue to say wild things and play with language and abbreviation and acronyms so I like the idea of having a resource for my readers to learn a little more about me and why I say the things I say.

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Tori Hyndman aka Toe aka The Broke Yolk

Hailey Bieber As Princess Diana Is My Fall Vision Board

These photos came out a week ago and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about them since.

Yes, I’ve seen THOSE iconic photos of Princess Diana (bike shorts and oversized sweaters, baseball caps and riding boots) sporting around London, but they never impacted me the way THESE photos of Hailey Bieber (née Baldwin) do.

She looks at once both fresh and refined. I’m not much for pearl earrings but her sporty elegance speaks to the essence of bygone East Coast royalty, her long blond hair tousled in the wind like she’s god damned Caroline Bessette-Kennedy.

This look, this VIBE is the central feature of my fall vision board.

I want it all.

I want to live inside those photos. I want to be it. MAKE ME THAT!

But just as that photo of her wearing a soft red flush across her cheeks (and nose) while biting into a strawberry made me look more like someone with a bad sunburn than summer-cheeked Hailey when I tried it out, I’m sure I will look less like Lady Di and more like Lady Disaster.

HOWEVER I will soldier onward, living my truth (as I did all summer with my faux-sunburned face) because fall is a new beginning anD I CAN WEAR COWBOYS BOOTS WITH MY BLAZER IF I WANT TO.

Here is how I am preparing:

I ordered bike shorts from American Eagle. They’re on sale right now and in a bunch of colors.

Although I 100% plan on stealing any collegiate-looking crewneck sweater of my boyfriend’s, I also recently acquired a UCSB crewneck that I will be wearing/living in all of fall because it is also quite cozy-making. Did I go there? No! That is not the point!! My Chicago school’s sweaters are expensive as fuck, kind of ugly, and don’t have cute initials. No offense. Go Blue Demons!

In order to be sporty chic, I also need sneakers. I currently own one pair of dusty pink New Balance (and by dusty I mean caked in the dust of Beachwood/Runyon Canyons) and one pair of sky blue Vans. This will not do. So far I really like these Adidas that I made people vote for on the Lately Instagram and Hailey is actually wearing THESE in the pics, but I’m not crazy about them.

I really need to buy some taller socks. After being CYBER BULLIED by my friends for wearing white socks on Instagram, it will feel insanely validating to wear tall ones with pride. If I wanted to be really sporty I would go with these, but realistically I will go with something more like this because I love color options and polka dots are cute.

It is 100 degrees today in Los Angeles and I’ve been peeping fall blazers. Currently I have my eye on this one. Perfect for when I venture to a gorgeous apple orchard/horse show/cobble stone street or some shit back east

I’m on the lookout for cowboy boots but I still really haven’t cracked how to wear them without it feeling like a costume! Comment below if you have good advice! Also looking for riding boots.

I’ve been dying over this Poppy Lissiman bag that IMO looks refined as hell. (Also super in to this cutie shape.)

Jeans wise….Madewell all the way, you can’t convince me otherwise. I recently tried on Levi Wedgies or whatever the hell and they were terrible. As far as I’m concerned, there are no other jeans for me. I’m not saying this because I used to work there. Madewell has the best jeans, hands down and their fall fit will be out soon.

I’m pretty covered in the way of baseball caps and I think I’ll just stick with subtle little gold hoops in my ears.

ANYWAY my autumnal pumpkins, that’s all for now.

TTYL

See ya in the comments!

All my love,

Princess Lady Lily Baldwin Rose-Simpson-Styles

 

 

Things I Want to Buy Off Instagram

Let us not forget that at any given time, I am a parody of myself.

This shopaholic, boy-crazy, bittersweet persona exists solely to be blown out of proportion, whenever I feel like giving it wings.

That being said–there’s a lot of sh*t I want online.

In the words of President Ariana Grande, “I see it, I like it, I want it.”  As much as I would LOVE to finish that lyric, seldom are the times that “I got it,” and more frequently are the times that “I put it in my virtual shopping cart, I made it all the way to check out, I saw what shipping would cost, I gave up.”

but IF I had a sugar daddy (or mommy heyyy 👅) these are the things I would send them screenshots of, hoping they would do that thing I like (spend money on me).

Necessaire Scrub

The worst thing about Necessaire is that every influencer I like promotes the f@ck out of it, so I’m Stockholm Syndrome-d into wanting it.

The best thing about Necessaire, is that it seems to actually work. I’ve been looking for a new scrub to replace my summer scent (too citrusy for September) and this sandalwood one seems perfect. Plus, it contains glycolic acid, lactic acid, and salicylic acid, so the majority of the exfoliation is not going to be from gritty beads but rather a gentle chemical exfoliation that always ALWAYS does my skin right.

Laura Lombardi Chains

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My fascination with this jewelry line was born out of a joke. It was included in a StartPacksofNYC meme that was just so…me. These twisty, curvy, chubby gold chains are deeply aesthetically pleasing. I can see them looking chic over a turtleneck at work or against my bare skin, adding a little edge to a cocktail dress.

My favorite pair of earrings right now are these little gold hoops I have from & Other Stories  (they were $19 and one of my best purchases ever) but I’ve often bemoaned that I don’t have anything simple to set them off.

Luckily for me, after a few drinks I was feeling like a Rockefeller and purchased this bracelet and this ring.

Lisa Says Gah

As I’m sure you can tell, my brain is gearing up for fall. We yet to hit Labor Day but I’ve already texted multiple people about Starbucks’ new pumpkin cream cold brew (scared of it). But this creamsicle-colored sweater and the little neon crossbody bag spark MAJOR joy in my pumpkin patch-meandering, apple picking, cinnamon candle-having heart.

If it weren’t 1000000 degrees in Los Angeles and I had my sugar parent’s AmEx, this ensemble would be ordered and on the way to my house in 2-3 business days.

Treasures of NYC

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grab n go

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Treasures of NYC always posts things I want, I’m just too stinkin broke. I love this lil cutie, also this little one that would help me like my Carrie Bradshaw truth:

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★sweet saddle dreamzz ☾

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Fashion Secrets

I am going to show you my favorite Instagram account, so for starters, you’re welcome. They find the best stuff on Amazon. You can prime like half this stuff. Incredible.

I almost don’t want to share this because all 8 of you who read this will make their IG blow up (jk). But whatever. Here are some of their things I have bookmarked:

That’s it for now.

HMU if you’re rich and feel like buying all of this.

Thanks

x

Is It Too Late To Buy The Instagram Skirt?

I could have easily just texted Kate about this, but I also wanted to ask all of you.

You know this skirt. You might love this skirt or simply love to hate this skirt, but it is THE INSTAGRAM SKIRT.

If you still do not know to which skirt I am referring, it is the Realisation Par “Naomi” skirt in the wild things print.

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Depending on where you live, you’ve probably seen at least 80 different girls wearing this exact skirt or imitations of this exact skirt.

The further we roll into spring (and the more I see people wearing it with cute tank tops), the more I consider purchasing it. Or purchasing a dupe because this skirt is $180 and I am a $6 oat milk matcha away from being flat broke.

But is it too late to get this skirt????

It’s been around for a while. It’s cycled through all my favorite influencers like a Glossier rep code.

There is already an Instagram dedicated to mocking the women who wear it! Which is:

A. To be expected because god forbid anyone let women enjoy things

B. KIND OF FUCKED UP!

C. Okay, a tiny bit funny

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Found by @cgisom in New York

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It seems to have become a beacon of basic-ness, like Kylie Lip Kits and Lulu Lemon (two things I heartily enjoy but do cringe a tiny bit at indulging in).

But it would look SO cute at the beach or in the desert (PALM SPRINGS 2K19) or on the street or just like hanging up in my closet taunting me to wear it everywhere.

I don’t even know how it’s going to fit! I’ve never even tried it on!

But still the question remains…..should I get this skirt? Is it too late? Has it become passé?

LMK

xo

These Girls And Their Instagrams Are Cooler Than Their Famous Dads

Katie Kimmel

Katie Kimmel is Jimmy Kimmel’s daughter, and she is exponentially cooler than her TV host dad. Katie designs shirts, mugs, sweaters, totes, vases, and just makes really heckin’ cool art. Her Instagram is a little space of joy and an excellent follow. We wanted everything from her collection with Lou & Grey and now that we’ve discovered her weird little iron-on shrimp patches, you bet your ass we’re buying one! (Also our graphic that I shittily made is inspired by her shirts! K Thnx BYE)

Romy Reiner

Romy Reiner is the daughter of Rob Reiner (The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally) and the granddaughter of Carl Reiner (Various Sid Caesar Shows, The Dick Van Dyke Show). Not only is she a comedy legacy and Instagram superstar, Romy is an incredible photographer and cartoonist. Plus, she’s totally our style inspo for every season.

Gracie Abrams

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4 u

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J.J. Abram’s daughter Gracie makes really fucking great music. She also keeps it super real on the ‘gram. Following her feels like following your sister’s cool friend that you’ve always heard about but never met. She’s fashionable, she’s talented, and she’s funny. She is who you wish you were when you were that age.

Stella Aykroyd

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going to miss her waking me up every morning 🐕

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We always seem to find ourselves saving photos from Stella Aykroyd’s Insta to post later, as part of our larger “saved” collage. Whatever she’s doing in life, Dan Aykroyd’s daughter seems to be having the most beautiful and best time. Plus, sometimes she posts lil’ throw back pics of her dad which are cool, but really we stay for the art.

Cazzie David

Does it seem redundant to include Cazzie David? We don’t care. Obviously you know who she is, and if you don’t–where have you been?? She’s Larry David’s daughter but she’s also a powerhouse writer, actor, comedian, and podcast guest. She dated Pete Davidson for a hot minute too. Yea, Larry David is good, but like Cazzie….iconic.

Harley Quinn Smith

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you guys!!!! The California Cruelty Free Cosmetics Act is so close to becoming a reality! It’s going to be voted on by the California assembly within the next two weeks. This would make it illegal to sell products that have been tested on animals in the state of California after January 1st, 2020. This would be a major accomplishment for the animal rights community and would free so many innocent living beings from suffering in labs. I think this is an issue that vegans and non-vegans alike can agree on. It’s not a matter of taking anything away from humans, it’s a matter of ending unnecessary abuse of innocent animals. There is no need to test on animals when there are so many nonviolent alternatives that are so much more accurate in their results!!! There are no down sides to this act (except for the evil cosmetic companies who choose profit over saving living beings from harm), and it will change and save the lives of so many animals. So PLEASE help in getting this act to pass by spreading the word, boycotting non-cruelty free cosmetic brands (fuck you @esteelauder) and by calling California assembly members and telling them to vote yes on SB1249!!!

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Kevin Smith’s daughter Harley, is very very cool. She sings in a band, she acts, and she’s a huge activist for animals. She’s a major beauty and style inspo on Instagram as well as a vegan icon (tbh). Plus, we think she could totally be Rio Viera Newton’s long lost little sister (do you see the resemblance??? Is it just the hair?? Idk, I am asking you!)

Everything I Considered Buying This Week

I may be broke, but you might not be! Here’s a list of everything I almost purchased this week but didn’t once I looked at my bank account balance:

A’PIEU Madecassoside Needle Spot Patch

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Summer Dawn (my fave Instagram girl) posted about these on her Insta story and said they are the best pimple patches she has ever tried.

Kiehl’s Age Defender Eye Repair Cream

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My Instagram boo @Tynanbuck storied this eye cream and said it was “fucking unreal”. Excuse me, I want that!!!

UGG Slippers

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Kate and I have long discussed purchasing matching fluffy UGG heeled sandals a la Marta from Nice Paper, but these Coquette Clog Slippers seem a little more functional. I would wear them around the house, to walk my dog, to grab coffee, to a friend’s house, and probably….everywhere else lol. Did I just re-talk myself into buying them? MAYBE! But they’re like walking on a cloud!

Gola Classics Women’s Tennis Mark Cox Trainer

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I saw these bad boys while I was shopping at Lou & Grey. I love the off-white color and the saddle brown stripes. They’re simple, they’re chic, they’re very fall.

Tilda Swinton Like This Eau de Parfum by Etat Libre D’Orange 

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My beautiful Twitter friend Chelb is responsible for this one. She gave me a sample of this scent and I can’t stop wearing it. It’s at once spicy, soft, musky, and green. PLUS, IT’S INSPIRED BY TILDA SWINTON. It’s awesome and I want it in full-size.

Madewell’s 10″ High-Rise Skinny jeans

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I used to work at Madewell and am a full convert for Madewell denim. It’s stretchy, soft, and holds you in in all the right places. Plus, the washes tend not to have unflattering whiskering or weird green-tinged washes. I have a favorite pair of Madewell jeans that I bought when I worked there in college almost 5 years ago. I beat the hell out of them and wear them practically every day. They’re just now starting to wear a little thin on one inner thigh. I was thinking of getting these as a replacement! The insane part is, they’ve pre-cut the bottom to make it a step-hem. I did that to mine, only to mimic our super cool store manager all those years ago. It’s just now catching on!

Julie Houts “Become Your Pasta” Illustration

I love this illustration so much I want it in my house!!!! Nothing has spoken to me more in life!

LuMee Duo Phone Case with Front & Back LED Lighting 

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For bomb pics in dark cabs/restaurants/bars/bathrooms, at any angle.

Trashboy Shirt By NapkinItems 

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My favorite Instagrammer Napkin Apocalypse made shirts inspired by her son’s love of garbage trucks. Her son designed that little truck under the part that says Trashboy. Even if you hate this shirt, you gotta check out Napkin Apocalypse. You’re welcome.

HUDA BEAUTY Easy Bake Loose Baking & Setting Powder Pound Cake

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I borrowed some of this from my beautiful friend and makeup expert Julia, when we were in New York. It sets your face like a motherfucker. Highly recommend. Would LOVE to own.

Anyway, instead of buying any of this I bought like 4 airplane tickets, infinity Ubers, stayed in 2 airbnbs, some cold medicine, 100000 gallons of soup, a new sweater, and some candy corn.

The Most Comfortable Underpants In The World Are From GAP*

Underwear is so important. When I decided to love myself and stop wearing Victoria’s Secret “cheeksters” “thongies” or whatever glitter-dipped g-strings I was buying that were giving me major front-wedgies, I began an underpants exploration.

There was an intermediary period where I tried Target, and those were fine, but cheaply made and the lace was itchy. There was Aerie, which I found to be fine, but not exactly the fit I wanted. I even went online and found a brand that I like for pretty lacy things, but for every-day-comfortable-even-when-your-butt-is-sweating, it wouldn’t do.

Underpants are so personal. Yes, they cover your bits, but you also want panties that make you feel good and like you can move, and don’t irritate or dig into the soft flesh of your hips and thighs. My mom bought me underpants with a thick elastic waistband until I was 11. My tummy hung over the sides. They left huge red marks. I decided never again.

I’m 25 and I now know what I want. Yeah, I want thongs that don’t have weird rips in the front lace from god knows what or big granny panties covered in period stains that I keep for years because, laziness. I want big girl panties. Adult woman underwear. Something that keeps my crotch covered but looks cute. Something soft. Something breathable. Something without elastic but doesn’t fall off. No lace. no bows. The kind of underwear that if it fell out of your laundry bag in public you wouldn’t be like, “Gee, That’s embarrassing!” because it says “SASSY” on the ass.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

And then I found these at the GAP. I’m going to be real, I don’t like GAP. The GAP? Is Gap capitalized? I think their clothing is “feh,” their jeans are bad, and their sale section is a nightmare. But I needed underwear. I have been traveling and staying with friends and in hotels and haven’t done laundry and didn’t think turning my dirty pairs of panties inside out was the best course of action. I wandered in to the store only because my other options were J Crew (do they even have underwear?) and Nordstrom Rack (sizing and brands are questionable at any time).

They were under a sign labeling them as “softies,” which is exactly what I was looking for. The next buzz word I saw said, “breathe.” They were breathable!!! My coochie was gonna get to breathe! I touched them. They felt undeniably soft and light. They came in a variety of rises and colors, and many of them didn’t have some dumb ugly bow like I was a present or a baby!!!! I chose the high rise bikini because I wanted my tummy to feel covered and delicious in soft fabric damnit!

The next day I put them on and wow. Seriously, wow. I can’t even begin to explain to you what bliss it was. All day I felt comfortable. I didn’t pick a front wedgie even ONCE! No itchy lace, nothing digging into my body, and even better–they were cheetah print!! The cherry on top? A person I trust to see me undressed saw me wearing them, cheetah print from butt to belly button, and said they looked “hot.” Comfortable and hot? These panties are KILLIN IT.

******My only grouse, and the reason why I put an asterisk in the headline of this piece, is because they only go up to a size XXL. And that’s only online. What the fuck GAP. gap. gAp. Everyone deserves to feel the breathable comfort of these reasonably priced crotch-coverings!!!!!!!

Anyway, this isn’t sponsored or anything. I just really like them and wanted to tell you.

K bye.