Tag: halloween

Boo-sted Baby! 👻

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Hello from paradise!

I’m sitting on my couch with a pumpkin cream cold brew, streaming House of Ho while a pumpkin praline-scented WoodWick candle crackles in the foreground. It was 70º when I took my walk this morning and I spent my lunch break bookmarking fall coats on Nuuly. My NYT Cooking widget has been showing me a recipe for cinnamon babka all day.

This is living.

My therapist would call this an “oasis of calm.” I would call this “the calm before the storm.” I got my combination Covid booster-flu shot this morning. My left arm freakin hurts, I’ve had a headache all day and I’m starting to get a little hot and sweaty despite the fact that I have the A/C on.

So in an effort to prolong this pumpkin oasis of peace (tragically, the initialism for that comes out to P.O.O.P.)….

Let’s look at some links!

I NEED this fuzzy checkerboard coat. Don’t sell it out before I can Nuuly it.

This Cup of Jo piece about crushing on Daryl McCormack totally gets it right. That accent! *sWOon*

Do you listen to The World’s First Podcast with Erin & Sara Foster? Well, you should. This is my favorite episode. It’s all about manifesting, healing and creating your own set of non-negotiables.

I really want to see Spin Me Round. This movie has it all: fake Olive Garden, Molly Shannon, Aubrey Plaza being sexy, Zach Woods (also being sexy), pasta, mystery, intrigue!

I love practicing these jaw massage techniques. I don’t know how NOT to clench my jaw so these intentional moments of relief are necessary — I lowkey need masseter botox (hmu if you know a good spa).

How do I convince my boyfriend to go in on these cool kitchen chairs with me?

These little ghost candles are too cute to light.

Just some Rosh Hashanah socks.

I love Jake Cohen’s challah recipe. He shares a bunch of tips on how to make the perfect challah here.

Imagine getting cozy under this positively MASSIVE blanket.

I want a new carry-on bag. After seeing 8 million TikToks about it, I think I’ve been influenced to get this one from Beis.

How cute are these pumpkin gnocchis?

Anyway!

I hope you’re embracing your inner fall queen. I’m enjoying being old and basic as hell.

Love you/talk soon/it’s 6pm and I’m falling asleep

L

The Zodiac Signs As Halloween Costume Ideas

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This is the best (and the worst) I could do.

Aries

This 666exy costume is perfect for Aries. You’re the devil! You’re widely hated for the way you lead others into temptation. But it’s not all bad. Some people worship you! Not me though.

Taurus

Miss Piggy is one luxurious beyotch. She prizes living well and looking good above all else. If she isn’t a Taurus, she should be. Wait…let me Google it real quick. Oh she’s a Leo. WHATEVER. Just be Miss Piggy for Halloween so you can be rude, sip martinis and kiss frogs.

Gemini

Hi Gemini! You’re more excited about someone ripping your Halloween costume OFF than putting one on this year. This punny costume also doubles as a massive red flag! Awww, just like your personality!

Cancer

Absolutely be the Sleepy Time Tea bear but slutty. Sure, the Sleepy Time Tea bear is not slutty in essence. It’s a bear. It’s sleepy. But Cancer, I bet if you rocked this night cap-sleep shirt combo…things could get a lil …cheeky. I mean we never see that bear standing up. How short is that top exactly??

Leo

Leo’s love attention. The fastest way to get it in 2022? Be Nathan Fielder. While this Halloween costume is definitely easy if you’re a white man with dark hair (esp one who graduated from one of Canada’s top business school with really good grades), you’ll still need to rehearse this role a bunch of times before the big day. Bonus points if you wear Summit Ice. Deny nothing.

Virgo

Virgo, you’re Tito the anxiety mosquito. Halloween is chaos. It ruins your sense of order and control. No one will be able to tell if you’re voicing your racing thoughts or if you’re just deep in character! I feel like you could make this costume slutty if you really wanted to.

Libra

I’m not totally sure HOW you’d pull this off but you should definitely be Bella Hadid. She’s hot, Libras are hot. Can you achieve this costume simply by getting bangs? I don’t know. Just don’t be the “home boy’s gonna like… get it” meme. That’s a zillion years old.

Scorpio

Scorpios are cool. Some might say too cool. So to level the Halloween costume playing field, you should be the 2011 swag trend. Wear a hat like this one. Wear an American Apparel zip-up hoodie in an obnoxious color like purple. Say “swaggy” or go “swag, swag,” while making dancing hand motions. I don’t remember what else happened in 2011 but this feels like most of it…. Oh yea, Jabbawockeez.

Sagittarius

Sag, you’re the perfect combination of quirky and classic. That’s why you should be Scout’s ham costume from To Kill A Mockingbird. The literary hoes gon’ looooove this.

Capricorn

All Capricorns are just Carl from Up. This is what you look like to me! You’re all so cranky and sad! Cheer up!!! Damn! You could also make this slutty if you want.

Aquarius

What’s so spooky about Kathy Hilton? Everything! Give your friends a real scare by showing up to their house but not for a trick-or-treat. Ask for crackers…and some cheese…. and a diet Coke.

Pisces

If this photo just seems like two men lifting a piece of luggage to you — educate yourself. THAT’S TAYLOR SWIFT IN THERE!! In 2017(ish) Miss Swift traveled to-and-fro not by private jet but by luggage. Now, it’s your turn Pisces. Recruit two strong friends to help you recreate this iconic look for Halloween! Preferably Sag and Leo.

IT’S FALL!!!

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Never mind that the Earth is on fire and it’s 85º in various parts of the country. It’s FALL, witch.

Time to put your favorite cozy sweater on, change your Twitter handle to some sort of spooky pun and blast that AC while you bake pumpkin bread.

In celebration of Oct. 1 and also because we haven’t written anything in a long ass time, here’s a link pack of fall shit we think is cool/wanna do/buy/see/eat/etc…

Have you seen these Everlane “Glove” boots? The chestnut color would look amazing in a pumpkin patch/apple orchard.

Let the cast of Succession usher in sweater weather.

Fall makes me want to wear vampy nail shades like this one that I got at Rite Aide or this hot cocoa color.

Trader Joe’s maple streusel bread is really, really good if you don’t like pumpkin stuff but want something seasonal.

I recently followed this goth/witchy/mom Instagram. They post stuff like this:

and this:

I made these brownies and my sister said they were the best she ever tasted. Don’t read the comments that say they take like 20 mins to bake. They take about 40. They’re SUPER fudgey.

I recently discovered that the majority of my friends don’t know what kugel is. It’s a sweet (or savory) Jewish noodle (and sometimes potato) casserole. My gentile boyfriend likened it to flan (he’s wrong though). Regardless, I would love to try this Molly Yeh cardamom and apple kugel recipe to enjoy when I break the fast post Yom Kippur. FYI you can eat kugel hot OR cold.

Fall always makes me want to listen to Elliott Smith.

Still not in the spirit??? Check out this list of every pumpkin spice product you can buy right now.

BYE UNTIL NEXT TIME

🎃

This Is What Fall Food You Would Be According To The Zodiac

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Aries

Hot Toddy

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You know how to be warm and comforting towards any of your friends who’ve been out in the (emotional) cold, but you also know how to fuck someone up. Yeah Aries, you’re all sweet and clove-y during the good times, but you taste like rotten apples coming up the morning after. Keep being that liquid sweater the people you love desperately need. Don’t be the hangover they didn’t deserve.

Taurus

Pumpkin Pie

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnq18g1HXpR/?tagged=pumpkinpie

Everybody wants you Taurus! You’re that tasty bit of tradition that people look forward to all year long. You’re good for breakfast, lunch, dinner, or as a snack. Even though it seems like everybody has a special family recipe–you pretty much always taste the same. But that’s exactly how we like it!

Gemini

Candy Corn

You’re candy corn because you have haters, but don’t cry Gemini! You also have admirers who are obsessed with you and tend to go a little candy corn-crazy right around this time. Some might say you’re all the same, but you know your yellow bits taste different from the orange–and especially the white! Oh, and everyone forgets you exist after Halloween. Sorry.

Cancer

Sweet Potato Casserole

Oh my little Cancer babe, I know you want to crawl right under that mountain of marshmallows and snuggle right up in all that sweet potato smush. You’re the coziest sign and this is probably the coziest fall food. But careful not to give yourself one of those tummy aches you’re so prone to! Too much sweet potatoes will sit inside you like a stone.

Leo

Tomato Soup And Grilled Cheese

You taste like heaven and you know it, Leo. Cheesy (but enough about your sense of humor), spicy (but enough about your personality), and a cold weather favorite- you light up meal times (and every room) even if you’re just two Kraft Singles and a can of Campbell’s soup.  But that’s hardly news to you.

Virgo

Chicken Pot Pie

You take skill to and time to make, my little Virgo perfectionist darling. You’re traditional, but you’re never bland. You’re actually quite intricate and full of tiny surprises like peas and carrots even though you’re usually hidden by some sort of plain (but flaky and delicious) crust. Moms love you.

Libra

Pumpkin Spice Latte

Don’t get mad Libra! I’m not calling you basic, although you probably wouldn’t mind that anyway. You may have been co-opted by sorority sisters in fleece vests and Uggs (not that there’s anything wrong with that) but when you’re not at Starbucks you’re actually pretty good. You’re spicier than you are sweet and confident that even though people talk shit, they actually like you a lot. No wonder you come back every year!

Scorpio

Roasted Brussels Sprouts

Scorpio, you’re roasted brussels sprouts because you’re so good people could eat you like chips. Yeah, little kids hate you and there are a select group of adults who act like you suck, but everyone who has tasted you knows the truth. You’re fucking delicious as hell. Too bad you stink up the whole house.

Sagittarius

Caramel Apple

People who have never had you don’t know what they’re missing Sagittarius. You’re covered in sugar, but underneath you’ve got that deliciously crisp bite that comes through just like your wit and sense of adventure. Dressed up with sprinkles and nuts you’re a photographic treat, but you’re just as delicious all broken down.

Capricorn

Apple Cider Doughnut

You’re so cozy, but not in the traditional way. You’re a more practical doughnut–no sprinkles or icing, but you’re fall as fuck and good as fuck and you’re destined to be a tasty snack enjoyed while romping around the pumpkin patch, and you love that.

Aquarius 

Spaghetti Squash

My curious Aquarius, you are just as light and airy as the spaghetti squash the universe (and I) have decided you are. With all your artistic abilities, you could be anything from a pasta dish with marinara and mozzarella to a a butter and garlic melange with chicken. Have more faith in yourself! People like you! Especially vegans.

Pisces

Pumpkin Beer

You’re a beer babe Pisces, and around this time you like to get festive. You’re totally a pumpkin brew, best enjoyed outside with the changing leaves. No one considers you basic (even though you are) but whatever. You’re just one the lads, drinking a beer (a pumpkin beer) and you’re cozy and cute as shit.