Is It Too Late To Buy The Instagram Skirt?

I could have easily just texted Kate about this, but I also wanted to ask all of you.

You know this skirt. You might love this skirt or simply love to hate this skirt, but it is THE INSTAGRAM SKIRT.

If you still do not know to which skirt I am referring, it is the Realisation Par “Naomi” skirt in the wild things print.

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Depending on where you live, you’ve probably seen at least 80 different girls wearing this exact skirt or imitations of this exact skirt.

The further we roll into spring (and the more I see people wearing it with cute tank tops), the more I consider purchasing it. Or purchasing a dupe because this skirt is $180 and I am a $6 oat milk matcha away from being flat broke.

But is it too late to get this skirt????

It’s been around for a while. It’s cycled through all my favorite influencers like a Glossier rep code.

There is already an Instagram dedicated to mocking the women who wear it! Which is:

A. To be expected because god forbid anyone let women enjoy things

B. KIND OF FUCKED UP!

C. Okay, a tiny bit funny

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Found by @cgisom in New York

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It seems to have become a beacon of basic-ness, like Kylie Lip Kits and Lulu Lemon (two things I heartily enjoy but do cringe a tiny bit at indulging in).

But it would look SO cute at the beach or in the desert (PALM SPRINGS 2K19) or on the street or just like hanging up in my closet taunting me to wear it everywhere.

I don’t even know how it’s going to fit! I’ve never even tried it on!

But still the question remains…..should I get this skirt? Is it too late? Has it become passé?

LMK

xo

24-Hours Of Self-Indulgence

We asked one Lately editor to keep a diary about what she ate/spent/did in one day. The results were a chilling reflection of hedonism.

6:30 A.M. 

I wake up and check my phone. I have a text from my boyfriend, three Instagram notifications (not popular), and eight Twitter notifications (POPULAR (jk it’s all Twitter telling me my followers liked someone else’s tweet)). I am currently working from home so I set up my computer for the morning meeting I am to have in exactly half an hour.

8 A.M.

The morning meeting is over, I pitched some story ideas at work and now I am scrolling through the internet. Things I have open on my browser at all times: The Cut, The Strategist, Amazon, Cup of Jo, Man Repeller, and Twitter. I have yet to drink water or eat anything.

I try to start my days with a glass of ice cold water. I typically forget about said glass of water and by the time it’s 10 a.m., it’s room temperature and I don’t want to drink it anymore so I toss it down the sink and pour a new glass.

I make coffee in my massive cheetah thermos-thing I got from the 99-cents store. My drink of choice is a 6-oz of something from Pete’s that I make in my Keurig plus a shit ton of ice, and a heavy pour of chocolate almond milk. One of these days I am going to freeze coffee ice cubes but also that would involve buying ice cube trays (I want these ice sticks). I have a note in my phone about this that I have ignored for months.

I am starving. I have never woken up and not been absolutely ravenous.

I am a huge fan of breakfast sandwiches, so I toast two slices of whole grain bread in my toaster oven and put two slices of cheddar cheese on one of the two. I fry an egg. I am in the mood for a grilled cheese-vibe, and IMO no grilled cheese is complete without a thin layer of pickle relish.

IF YOU THINK THAT IS DISGUSTING, I URGE YOU TO CLICK THIS LINK THAT CHANGED MY LIFE/TRY IT FOR YOURSELF.

We are out of pickle relish. I put bread and butter pickle chips on it plus a squirt of mustard. Yes, it’s like 8:30 in the morning. She is a salty-centric queen and she makes no apologies.

10 A.M.

I have to pour myself a new glass of water. Lol.

I also realize that I have yet to wash my face/brush my teeth. Right now I am using this Andalou vitamin-c cleanser that my friend Andrew recommended to me. It smells like gummy bears and it’s brightening without stripping me of my natural oils. I am currently moisturizing with Manyo Factory Herb Green Fresh Lotion. I got it from the skincare place in chinatown that Rio Viera-Newton (of “The Strategist” and also of “being an internet cool girl”) loves when I was in New York. It’s called oo35mm and it is really tiny but the people who work there are super helpful and friendly!!

I used to use a lot more stuff on my face but then I got tired and now I don’t!

I brush my teeth.

12 P.M.

I ordered lunch from Health Nut, the place the Kardashians’ used to love, and order their Chinese Chicken Salad. Typically, I get their “Noodlerama” which is salad with cold rice noodles and spicy dressing, but today I feel like eating lettuce with chicken and some tiny crunchy things that Health Nut really needs to consider adding more of.

Recently, I had my deodorant confiscated from the Stockholm airport (why? idk!) so I am in the market for a new deo. I have been using some version of Old Spice ever since college (smells like an ex-boyfriend) but now I want to switch to something natural because I am worried that everything I’m using is killing me!

This deodorant is supposed to 1. work and 2. smell just like Old Spice, plus it’s natural and comes in super chic packaging. On the same Sweden trip, I also thrashed my favorite Madewell transport tote. It’s taken a heavy beating over the past five years traveling with me everywhere from Chicago to Singapore and now it’s completely falling apart.

I order a new one (with a zip-top!) in the color “saddle” because I am nothing if not a basic bitch, forever and ever. But also, if you’re in the market for a travel bag that can fit a weekend’s worth of clothing, an over-stuffed makeup bag, and a laptop–this is the bag for you.

During my purchase I also spy this architecturally interesting bag, but it doesn’t ship until July! So….bye.

2 P.M. 

I’m on Instagram. I really want some hot Cheetos. Has anyone actually purchased Necessaire? I want to try it but also, I think I only want to try it because my favorite Instagrammers are being paid like 5k to post about it all day. They have a body wash, but they also do lotion and lube and stuff. I text Kate about it and make a mental note to circle back later.

I eat a sunbutter cup. It’s like a Reese’s but with sunflower seed butter and dark chocolate (so nothing like a Reese’s). I need more underwear and I am genuinely digging these from Amazon. They’re a dupe for the Gap Body ones we love at Lately, and since the closest Gap Body to me is like 15 miles away, I’ll just Prime these to my house instead.

My to-do list is still a mile long. I have a lot of hand-wash laundry to get to. I have 600 emails to respond to and I feel like at least half of them are embargoed news that I missed while I was OOO (out of office).

I want to make skillet lasagna for dinner.

5:30 P.M. 

After work I watch every episode of Netflix’s “Special” which I HIGHLY recommend. I schedule an appointment with my lash artist in Culver City and with my dermatologist in Agoura– both luxuries that keep me from looking like a drowned rat every day of my life.

Next I grocery shop for everything I need for my lasagna.

It’s from Basically, Bon Appetit’s Millennial-inspired cooking and recipe site, and it looks easy to make. I love cooking and find it soothing. I haven’t had a hard day, but my brain has felt like a mess for a while after having traveled and drank a shit ton and I hoped it would be nice to make myself a meal and enjoy the process of being present in my kitchen.

But spoiler alert, this recipe is not so easy to make!!!! Especially when you’re attempting to halve the recipe and suck at math-slash-are alone and need to use like 4 different bowls and lift a very heavy pan!!

Although I make a mess in the kitchen and my lasagna turns out ugly as sin (also makes more than I can ever possibly eat), it’s fucking delicious and nourishes me in mind, body, and spirit.

Yes, there are nights when all I want is a big salad with a ton of vegetables. I think a baked fish with a side of greens can be a centering experience. But nothing is as especially healing as a big bowl of warm pasta with some sort of spicy red sauce and a lot of cheese. Nothing corrects my center of gravity quite like that. I find my stillness in the noddles. The aromatic sauce and gooey cheese envelopes my soul.

If I were drinking right now, I would be enjoying this experience with a hearty glass of red wine.

Regardless, I feel soothed.

I cuddle up on the couch with my dog and watch “The Bisexual”. Passover starts Friday at sundown and I think about how soon I won’t be able to eat any leavened bread. That means no bagels or breakfast sandwiches. I’m going to practically be a beast for a week. Thank god for matzo brittle.

 

Should Your Favorite Brands Really Be Texting You?

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Lily: Why is Stuad doing this now? That’s so weird???

Kate: LOL that’s a very interesting take on sending a promo code. It’s aggressive.

Lily: It’s so aggressive and I’m scared it’s a hack but also I 100% signed up. Other brands have been doing this too? like been asking if they can send me texts. It’s very futuristic and terrifying.

Kate: I feel like it’s because email is so saturated. But a text is a little jarring and disruptive.

Lily: Also, I think it may be because so many people shop from their phones. Like, once I said yes they sent me a click-through.

Kate: Oooo V true!! I get random texts from Express but no one else really, and normally it’a a short text with no pictures lol.

Lily: For me it’s been a lot of natural beauty and skincare brands. I think they hate the approach of a “I’m cute friend who texts you to tell you about sales,” but a lot of the time I’ve never signed up for these I just put my phone number in for packages so they can get past my gate or call me if there’s an issue. It feels like an abuse of power.

Kate: Oooh I get them from Ulta too for sales! As it is, I get so many texts a day that a brand trying to communicate with me over text is just going to be ignored. Instagram ads are the way to get to me.

Lily: Tooooootally. Instagram ads are the absolute best. Especially if they are shop-able and I can click on the little circle for the price and just go.

Kate: The prince thing is the best thing to ever happen to social media.

Lily: I don’t get why brands don’t get that? Like 90% of the time I want to buy something, it’s because I was scrolling on IG and saw it and want to put it on my body or my face. Unless these brands start using the algorithm to text me pictures of products I want…don’t text me!

Why I’m Trying To No Longer Be A Tchotchke-Person

I come from a family of collectors. My father used to collect Elvis memorabilia when I was a kid, and I remember his whole office was full of it. My grandmother used to collect coffee cups and had a special display case for them. My mom liked to collect anything pirate-themed. My sister collected and still collects soaps. I seem to collect tchotchkes, and with them–dust and clutter.

It has been brought to my attention that some people may not know what the word tchotchke means, and to that I say “what?” Because apparently no one has heard of the Yiddish word for “trinket,” pronounced “chot-ch-kee.” Except these things are trinkets and also they’re less than that. They’re garbage art. They’re matches from cool restaurants and sparkly hair clips and hand-painted little trays and funny lighters and weird shit I’ve been given or found. I would say 1 in 7 of these objects are kept sentimentally and the rest seriously need to go into the trash. These trinkets also seem to be a great hiding place for hair ties, hair pins, dust, trash, and 4-year-old lip glosses.

My collection was keeping my room from being orderly, made labeling moving boxes practically impossible, and gave my best friend Andrew a heart attack every time he has ever had to look at my bedroom dresser. Luckily, I have recently gone through a series of moves both independently and with my family that have enabled me to throw away a lot of the junk I had accumulated (even some of the things I was sentimental about). I’m trying to keep it that way.

There is something so beautiful about a dresser with just a mirror, framed art, and maybe a candle or two as opposed to the 4 pens from Ping Pong in Chicago that I stole, my ex-boyfriend’s iPhone head phones, like 48 crystals of various colors and abilities, and some restaurant mints.

The best example that I can give you is from the iconic Mary Kate and Ashley film, New York Minute.

Ashley opens her closet to calming color-coded minimalism.

Mary Kate opens her closet to…this

I know this is a closet and not my dresser, but the Chex Mix bag and the bra and the umbrella say otherwise (items likely found on my dresser amidst a weird mini-porcelain doll from Solvang, a press pass from the Pizza Experience, and a snow globe that says “Virginia Is for Lovers”.

I’m not doing this for cleanliness, I’m doing this for minimalism. Moving fucking blows btw and I have had to do it 4 times this year, disregarding the countless trips I took independently where I had to haul my jewelry, skincare, and travel candle around the continental U.S. Having less stuff is just a life hack for an easier life if you’re on the move (which I am, all of the time apparently). No, you don’t need to fully “Marie Kondo” your place,  but I am saying having less shit on your dresser and shoved into drawers and on your nightstand could make yours and is making my room/house/life feel less stressful.

My tchotchkes all had an energy. That energy was crowding my life. I even threw away my ex boyfriend’s headphones. It probably had his ear wax in it (nasty) and one of the pods didn’t work anyway.

So I guess this is to say, please stop giving me things. If I tell you I want a souvenir from Seattle, please stop me unless it’s a sweatshirt or one of those Sleepless In Seattle pajama tops. I don’t need to keep restaurant matches unless I’m storing them in my purse (for emergency candle lighting). Don’t offer me gemstone coasters or a sparkly dish for my rings. Don’t give me a porcelain pony or a photo of Hillary Clinton. I am trying to declutter my life and embrace minimalism. I am trying not to be a tchotchke person.

Everything I Considered Buying This Week

I may be broke, but you might not be! Here’s a list of everything I almost purchased this week but didn’t once I looked at my bank account balance:

A’PIEU Madecassoside Needle Spot Patch

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Summer Dawn (my fave Instagram girl) posted about these on her Insta story and said they are the best pimple patches she has ever tried.

Kiehl’s Age Defender Eye Repair Cream

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My Instagram boo @Tynanbuck storied this eye cream and said it was “fucking unreal”. Excuse me, I want that!!!

UGG Slippers

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Kate and I have long discussed purchasing matching fluffy UGG heeled sandals a la Marta from Nice Paper, but these Coquette Clog Slippers seem a little more functional. I would wear them around the house, to walk my dog, to grab coffee, to a friend’s house, and probably….everywhere else lol. Did I just re-talk myself into buying them? MAYBE! But they’re like walking on a cloud!

Gola Classics Women’s Tennis Mark Cox Trainer

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I saw these bad boys while I was shopping at Lou & Grey. I love the off-white color and the saddle brown stripes. They’re simple, they’re chic, they’re very fall.

Tilda Swinton Like This Eau de Parfum by Etat Libre D’Orange 

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My beautiful Twitter friend Chelb is responsible for this one. She gave me a sample of this scent and I can’t stop wearing it. It’s at once spicy, soft, musky, and green. PLUS, IT’S INSPIRED BY TILDA SWINTON. It’s awesome and I want it in full-size.

Madewell’s 10″ High-Rise Skinny jeans

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I used to work at Madewell and am a full convert for Madewell denim. It’s stretchy, soft, and holds you in in all the right places. Plus, the washes tend not to have unflattering whiskering or weird green-tinged washes. I have a favorite pair of Madewell jeans that I bought when I worked there in college almost 5 years ago. I beat the hell out of them and wear them practically every day. They’re just now starting to wear a little thin on one inner thigh. I was thinking of getting these as a replacement! The insane part is, they’ve pre-cut the bottom to make it a step-hem. I did that to mine, only to mimic our super cool store manager all those years ago. It’s just now catching on!

Julie Houts “Become Your Pasta” Illustration

I love this illustration so much I want it in my house!!!! Nothing has spoken to me more in life!

LuMee Duo Phone Case with Front & Back LED Lighting 

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For bomb pics in dark cabs/restaurants/bars/bathrooms, at any angle.

Trashboy Shirt By NapkinItems 

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My favorite Instagrammer Napkin Apocalypse made shirts inspired by her son’s love of garbage trucks. Her son designed that little truck under the part that says Trashboy. Even if you hate this shirt, you gotta check out Napkin Apocalypse. You’re welcome.

HUDA BEAUTY Easy Bake Loose Baking & Setting Powder Pound Cake

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I borrowed some of this from my beautiful friend and makeup expert Julia, when we were in New York. It sets your face like a motherfucker. Highly recommend. Would LOVE to own.

Anyway, instead of buying any of this I bought like 4 airplane tickets, infinity Ubers, stayed in 2 airbnbs, some cold medicine, 100000 gallons of soup, a new sweater, and some candy corn.

The Most Comfortable Underpants In The World Are From GAP*

Underwear is so important. When I decided to love myself and stop wearing Victoria’s Secret “cheeksters” “thongies” or whatever glitter-dipped g-strings I was buying that were giving me major front-wedgies, I began an underpants exploration.

There was an intermediary period where I tried Target, and those were fine, but cheaply made and the lace was itchy. There was Aerie, which I found to be fine, but not exactly the fit I wanted. I even went online and found a brand that I like for pretty lacy things, but for every-day-comfortable-even-when-your-butt-is-sweating, it wouldn’t do.

Underpants are so personal. Yes, they cover your bits, but you also want panties that make you feel good and like you can move, and don’t irritate or dig into the soft flesh of your hips and thighs. My mom bought me underpants with a thick elastic waistband until I was 11. My tummy hung over the sides. They left huge red marks. I decided never again.

I’m 25 and I now know what I want. Yeah, I want thongs that don’t have weird rips in the front lace from god knows what or big granny panties covered in period stains that I keep for years because, laziness. I want big girl panties. Adult woman underwear. Something that keeps my crotch covered but looks cute. Something soft. Something breathable. Something without elastic but doesn’t fall off. No lace. no bows. The kind of underwear that if it fell out of your laundry bag in public you wouldn’t be like, “Gee, That’s embarrassing!” because it says “SASSY” on the ass.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

And then I found these at the GAP. I’m going to be real, I don’t like GAP. The GAP? Is Gap capitalized? I think their clothing is “feh,” their jeans are bad, and their sale section is a nightmare. But I needed underwear. I have been traveling and staying with friends and in hotels and haven’t done laundry and didn’t think turning my dirty pairs of panties inside out was the best course of action. I wandered in to the store only because my other options were J Crew (do they even have underwear?) and Nordstrom Rack (sizing and brands are questionable at any time).

They were under a sign labeling them as “softies,” which is exactly what I was looking for. The next buzz word I saw said, “breathe.” They were breathable!!! My coochie was gonna get to breathe! I touched them. They felt undeniably soft and light. They came in a variety of rises and colors, and many of them didn’t have some dumb ugly bow like I was a present or a baby!!!! I chose the high rise bikini because I wanted my tummy to feel covered and delicious in soft fabric damnit!

The next day I put them on and wow. Seriously, wow. I can’t even begin to explain to you what bliss it was. All day I felt comfortable. I didn’t pick a front wedgie even ONCE! No itchy lace, nothing digging into my body, and even better–they were cheetah print!! The cherry on top? A person I trust to see me undressed saw me wearing them, cheetah print from butt to belly button, and said they looked “hot.” Comfortable and hot? These panties are KILLIN IT.

******My only grouse, and the reason why I put an asterisk in the headline of this piece, is because they only go up to a size XXL. And that’s only online. What the fuck GAP. gap. gAp. Everyone deserves to feel the breathable comfort of these reasonably priced crotch-coverings!!!!!!!

Anyway, this isn’t sponsored or anything. I just really like them and wanted to tell you.

K bye.