Tag: spooky

The Zodiac Signs As Halloween Costume Ideas

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This is the best (and the worst) I could do.

Aries

This 666exy costume is perfect for Aries. You’re the devil! You’re widely hated for the way you lead others into temptation. But it’s not all bad. Some people worship you! Not me though.

Taurus

Miss Piggy is one luxurious beyotch. She prizes living well and looking good above all else. If she isn’t a Taurus, she should be. Wait…let me Google it real quick. Oh she’s a Leo. WHATEVER. Just be Miss Piggy for Halloween so you can be rude, sip martinis and kiss frogs.

Gemini

Hi Gemini! You’re more excited about someone ripping your Halloween costume OFF than putting one on this year. This punny costume also doubles as a massive red flag! Awww, just like your personality!

Cancer

Absolutely be the Sleepy Time Tea bear but slutty. Sure, the Sleepy Time Tea bear is not slutty in essence. It’s a bear. It’s sleepy. But Cancer, I bet if you rocked this night cap-sleep shirt combo…things could get a lil …cheeky. I mean we never see that bear standing up. How short is that top exactly??

Leo

Leo’s love attention. The fastest way to get it in 2022? Be Nathan Fielder. While this Halloween costume is definitely easy if you’re a white man with dark hair (esp one who graduated from one of Canada’s top business school with really good grades), you’ll still need to rehearse this role a bunch of times before the big day. Bonus points if you wear Summit Ice. Deny nothing.

Virgo

Virgo, you’re Tito the anxiety mosquito. Halloween is chaos. It ruins your sense of order and control. No one will be able to tell if you’re voicing your racing thoughts or if you’re just deep in character! I feel like you could make this costume slutty if you really wanted to.

Libra

I’m not totally sure HOW you’d pull this off but you should definitely be Bella Hadid. She’s hot, Libras are hot. Can you achieve this costume simply by getting bangs? I don’t know. Just don’t be the “home boy’s gonna like… get it” meme. That’s a zillion years old.

Scorpio

Scorpios are cool. Some might say too cool. So to level the Halloween costume playing field, you should be the 2011 swag trend. Wear a hat like this one. Wear an American Apparel zip-up hoodie in an obnoxious color like purple. Say “swaggy” or go “swag, swag,” while making dancing hand motions. I don’t remember what else happened in 2011 but this feels like most of it…. Oh yea, Jabbawockeez.

Sagittarius

Sag, you’re the perfect combination of quirky and classic. That’s why you should be Scout’s ham costume from To Kill A Mockingbird. The literary hoes gon’ looooove this.

Capricorn

All Capricorns are just Carl from Up. This is what you look like to me! You’re all so cranky and sad! Cheer up!!! Damn! You could also make this slutty if you want.

Aquarius

What’s so spooky about Kathy Hilton? Everything! Give your friends a real scare by showing up to their house but not for a trick-or-treat. Ask for crackers…and some cheese…. and a diet Coke.

Pisces

If this photo just seems like two men lifting a piece of luggage to you — educate yourself. THAT’S TAYLOR SWIFT IN THERE!! In 2017(ish) Miss Swift traveled to-and-fro not by private jet but by luggage. Now, it’s your turn Pisces. Recruit two strong friends to help you recreate this iconic look for Halloween! Preferably Sag and Leo.

IT’S FALL!!!

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Never mind that the Earth is on fire and it’s 85º in various parts of the country. It’s FALL, witch.

Time to put your favorite cozy sweater on, change your Twitter handle to some sort of spooky pun and blast that AC while you bake pumpkin bread.

In celebration of Oct. 1 and also because we haven’t written anything in a long ass time, here’s a link pack of fall shit we think is cool/wanna do/buy/see/eat/etc…

Have you seen these Everlane “Glove” boots? The chestnut color would look amazing in a pumpkin patch/apple orchard.

Let the cast of Succession usher in sweater weather.

Fall makes me want to wear vampy nail shades like this one that I got at Rite Aide or this hot cocoa color.

Trader Joe’s maple streusel bread is really, really good if you don’t like pumpkin stuff but want something seasonal.

I recently followed this goth/witchy/mom Instagram. They post stuff like this:

and this:

I made these brownies and my sister said they were the best she ever tasted. Don’t read the comments that say they take like 20 mins to bake. They take about 40. They’re SUPER fudgey.

I recently discovered that the majority of my friends don’t know what kugel is. It’s a sweet (or savory) Jewish noodle (and sometimes potato) casserole. My gentile boyfriend likened it to flan (he’s wrong though). Regardless, I would love to try this Molly Yeh cardamom and apple kugel recipe to enjoy when I break the fast post Yom Kippur. FYI you can eat kugel hot OR cold.

Fall always makes me want to listen to Elliott Smith.

Still not in the spirit??? Check out this list of every pumpkin spice product you can buy right now.

BYE UNTIL NEXT TIME

🎃