This Is Your Life On Mercury Retrograde

We’re blaming this sh*t for EVERYTHING

Forgetting your car keys inside your already locked home

Spilling coffee down your shirt even though you’re using a straw

Walking into closing elevator doors

Your computer freezing

Your phone freezing

Your brain freezing

Crying at work

Forgetting your lunch

Having a pimple

Having three pimples

Food stuck in your teeth

Spelling erroerss

Instagram is down

Your tweet got 0 likes

Burned toast

Split ends

Your podcast only halfway downloaded and now you’re in a dead zone for another hour

Getting a ticket

A sunburn

Getting ghosted

Getting into a fight

A hair in your food

Choking on literally nothing

Battery dies in your vibrator

No one telling you you have a booger

Getting your period in white pants

Getting your period in any pants, really

A text from your ex

No wifi

 

 

 

Should Your Favorite Brands Really Be Texting You?

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Lily: Why is Stuad doing this now? That’s so weird???

Kate: LOL that’s a very interesting take on sending a promo code. It’s aggressive.

Lily: It’s so aggressive and I’m scared it’s a hack but also I 100% signed up. Other brands have been doing this too? like been asking if they can send me texts. It’s very futuristic and terrifying.

Kate: I feel like it’s because email is so saturated. But a text is a little jarring and disruptive.

Lily: Also, I think it may be because so many people shop from their phones. Like, once I said yes they sent me a click-through.

Kate: Oooo V true!! I get random texts from Express but no one else really, and normally it’a a short text with no pictures lol.

Lily: For me it’s been a lot of natural beauty and skincare brands. I think they hate the approach of a “I’m cute friend who texts you to tell you about sales,” but a lot of the time I’ve never signed up for these I just put my phone number in for packages so they can get past my gate or call me if there’s an issue. It feels like an abuse of power.

Kate: Oooh I get them from Ulta too for sales! As it is, I get so many texts a day that a brand trying to communicate with me over text is just going to be ignored. Instagram ads are the way to get to me.

Lily: Tooooootally. Instagram ads are the absolute best. Especially if they are shop-able and I can click on the little circle for the price and just go.

Kate: The prince thing is the best thing to ever happen to social media.

Lily: I don’t get why brands don’t get that? Like 90% of the time I want to buy something, it’s because I was scrolling on IG and saw it and want to put it on my body or my face. Unless these brands start using the algorithm to text me pictures of products I want…don’t text me!